Veteran’s Day can be tough
Veteran’s Day can be tough at times for myself. As an Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran, I offer some insights on what makes this holiday such a complicated day for me and potentially other veterans.
Couple notes up top: I am publishing this knowing that I receive plenty of well-meaning texts and calls of support on Veteran's Day and this blog entry is nothing against any of the people who call or text. Also, I am clarifying that I don't speak for anyone but myself so please know these are MY individual thoughts and feelings related to my individual service. Lastly, I reference self-harm and war acts so this writing is intended for mature audiences only and even still, reader beware.
As an “Operation Iraqi Freedom” veteran (1) the holiday, Veteran’s Day can be very difficult for me. I remember on November 11th 2006 I touched down in Dallas International Airport from Mosul Iraq, by way of Kuwait (2) on a plane that was entirely filled with fellow service members going home from various units/bases stationed in Iraq. It was a mid tour leave plane. (3) I’m pretty sure I was the only one I knew from my unit but I’m not quite sure. Memory’s a little foggy on non critical details like this. That and at the time I was pretty narrowly focused on getting the fuck out of Iraq and my ACUs, landing at home in San Diego, putting on some human clothes, and hanging with my family and friends. The Sergeant Major of the Army or someone who I might have actually been interested in could have been sitting next to me at the PAX shed in Kuwait and I don’t think I would have even noticed. I was ready to be home where I could be away from my job of listening to the battlefield for 12+ hrs a day.
Listening to the brave folks outside the wire call, and sometimes cry for help, it was my job to help them get that help. I worked as an Radio Telephone Operator (RTO) in a Cavalry Squadron (4). We had attack/recon helicopters that would carry 50 caliber machine guns, rockets (big booms), and every now and again hellfire missiles (really big booms) and I always explain my job to civilians as “a 9-1-1 operator but for attack helicopters.” Our birds as we called them, would fly deliberate missions in coordination with the combat arms dudes on the ground, provide security for various convoys, and were always ready to respond if things were getting a little spicy in the city. As an RTO we were what’s known as in military terms as fobbits.(5) And while it was true that as fobbits we didn’t see any action, other than the UAV feed which only worked some of the times, we listened to EVERYTHING. EVERY DAY. ALL OF THE TIMES. Like 50 Cent be in the club all the time, we be listening to the radios all the times.
As RTOs that was our primary job. Listening. Sometimes we RTOs were the only ones tasked with paying attention other times the entire room was on pins and needles because one of our pilots had just taken fire, or an infantry cat was stuck under a vehicle and he wasn’t sure but he felt like the pin on his grenade might have caught on something and pulled out while he was crawling, or there’s a IED that went off close by and shook the whole base, or there’s an ambush on a convoy, or a car bomb just ran into a checkpoint in the city.
Anytime our helicopters would engage (6) the enemy the headquarters would be deadly silent save for the radio. It’d be like we all were holding our breath not to disturb anything. If the birds were close enough we might be able to hear the delay between the radio call and the clack clack clack of the 50 or the thud thud thud of the rockets outside. And as soon as we got the “target neutralized” or whatever the fuck cold ass wording we’d used on the radio the room would erupt in a collective cheer/exhale.(7) But any time a US service member died in battle there’d be a collective malaise and a comms blackout (8) and we were almost always among the first to know because nine times out of ten we just heard it all go down.
While things did get crazy occasionally, war for me was most often fought fighting boredom and depression. There’d typically be 5-10 of us bullshitting trying to keep each other entertained and then out of nowhere it was time to participate in a collective effort to murder poor brown people whom we knew absolutely NOTHING about, whose language we couldn’t speak, in a foreign land on the other side of the planet. Adrenaline took over because we knew that people’s lives were in our hands and we had to handle our business like professionals so that the people who did the dying were the poor brown ones and not us.
So as I deplaned in Dallas 17 years ago, slightly less than halfway through my killing time, I was overwhelmed with emotion as I started walking through the terminal to see there were two crowds of people on either side of the walkway, like a sea of people that had been parted by Moses himself to form a path for us soldiers to walk through. And as we walked through the parted sea of people they all clapped and cheered for us all the way through the entire terminal. There were news cameras, people waving flags, men women and children. I had to fight back tears because it was so much. It was like the “Proud to be an American” military/grave digger montage they show at the beginning of a monster truck rally times a thousand. I know it was meant with love and at the time that’s how I received it. Because at the time I didn’t think I was participating in murder. I had completely bought into all the propaganda and all the rhetoric. No weapons of mass destruction, no problem. These people still needed “freedom!” I was defending my county. I was just doing my job. Look at all the people cheering for me when I landed in Texas. How could anything about this be bad?
But as I got older and as I got out of the service I became less and less attached to the Army as a part of my identity and I was therefore able to look my service more and more objectively. Like the people cheering for me and my fellow soldiers when we deplaned our mid tour leave plane in Dallas, I wanted to serve my country because I did love this country. I wanted to do something to make my family proud, and my country proud, and myself proud. I wanted to be an agent of good. But I hadn’t learned then that agents of good don’t carry arms. And you’re not defending your country by being on an offensive mission as an occupying force. There’s nothing defensive about that. But I was 18 when I signed up and my whole life I was conditioned to think United States Military were the good guys. Of course I wanted to be a good guy which was why it was so hard and took so long to realize that maybe I hadn’t been. Especially when the society I live in celebrates that part of me that I am now quite ashamed of.
As a fobbit I didn’t think I was allowed to have PTSD, though I definitely did (10). And I’m sure a lot of the combat arms folks might laugh behind my back if I said that I do. But I do still struggle despite my best efforts at healing with therapy, meditation, and detoxing from the pervasive army conditioning. (11) And it's hard for me because I feel like a lot of my struggle is on the level that I participated in more zoomed out, intellectual level. So it’s not Call of Duty horror it’s more of a Red Alert but after you beat the game you realize you were on the wrong side. So probably more like Ender’s Game I guess. And I have constant reminders on death anniversaries, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, any time someone thanks me for my service, any time one of my former coworkers takes their own life, and any time there’s shit going on in the news like the occupation of Ukraine or now like the genocide that’s going on in Israel/Palestine and I haven’t thought about taking my own life in a long time but all this shit, it definitely reminds me that I have thought about it. And it’s like, I wish it would go away but it just feels like our country celebrates this shit and it feels impossible to escape sometimes with all the reminders.
And I don’t think any of it is malicious. Those people cheering for the soldiers going on mid tour leave they believe they’re doing a good thing. And the soldiers are told they’re doing a good thing but one thing I’ve learned is war is never a good thing. Anytime governments try to convince us that we need to send munitions or troops to “conflicts” or whatever the fuck it’s very hard for me now. It’s just a constant reminder of how careless those appointed over us tend to be with the lives of those who, like me, want to do good. But they don’t realize yet that the government and the economy is profit driven and they’re literally in bed with arms dealers and the best way to make profit with arms dealers is by funding wars. And they don’t yet understand on a personally level how much war can stick with you like a tar on your heart.
I have my own battles I deal with my trauma is certainly not the worst I’ve heard of but it’s enough to send me into a tailspin on a bad day. And my friends, my lord… I have friends that saw “action” that are very fucked up about it and I have plenty of friends who saw action that just aren't fucked up about it yet. I had one friend tell me while they were hammered drunk “it feels so good to kill someone” and then went on to tell me about some of their exploits. It pained me to hear how far gone they had grown but that’s just it. We had two decades of wars and people, myself (a war veteran) included seem to forget that that comes with a cost. We have hundreds of thousands of war veterans who are fucking sick.
In my opinion PTSD is the most common symptom and war is the fucking sickness. Glamorizing the military, guns, tanks, helicopters, jets, is exactly what got me hooked. I was groomed since I was a baby. I went to air shows starting when I was like three, I had countless dessert storm Micro Machines, larger scale models, GI Joes, real-ass looking cap guns. By the time I was a teenager I would have Counter Strike, Call of Duty, Rainbow 6, and all that shit. My favorite movies in high school were Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down and now I sometimes think about how much life might be easier if I weren't around too because someone I knew just checked out.
So look I don’t know what I’m yammering on about really but I just want to say that sometimes Veteran’s Day is a little tough for me and my guess is it might be difficult for some of my battle buddies too.
What gives me hope though are all the activists that have demanding a ceasefire in Israel and especially for those who have started bringing their protests and actions to the defense contractors who have profiteering from the killing of innocent people for well over two decades now.
If you take anything from this please let it be this: Supporting the troops is not saying “thank you for your service,” or giving free meals to clean/healthy veterans once a year. And supporting the troops is definitely not sending your whackass album that you couldn’t pay someone to listen to, or ten-year-old-magazines no one’s ever heard of, or random bullshit you don’t want in your house to be included in “care packages” to be sent overseas.
Supporting the troops is keeping them out of harm’s way unless absolutely necessary, which really hasn’t been the case since WWII. Supporting the troops is providing housing for folks living on the street. Supporting the troops is universal healthcare that covers medical, dental, and mental health. Supporting the troops is refusing to glamorize guns and instruments of death and warfare. Supporting the troops is working toward peace.
(1) Already a lot to unpack with that operation name. “Iraqi Freedom.” Huh I wonder if that’s what Iraqis thought we were doing there. Just giving them 20 years of freedom by killing their people. “You know how freedom is.” “Look I’m sure your son was a great kid but this is about your freedom to not have to care for him anymore!” “See?! Freedom!” What a crock of shit. Sorry, after buying into the bs and coming out the other side freedom and words like it are very challenging words for me to come across and I feel like a fucking idiot for having ever falling for that rhetoric in the first place.
(2) We do have to say “by way of” now right? That’s like a law or something isn’t it? Did I do it right??? Oh god please tell me I used it right…
(3) When I was overseas in Iraq from the summer of 2006 — summer 2007 mid tour leave was something everyone got starting as early as maybe one or two months into our deployment. Everyone in the unit gets 2-3 weeks of free leave that doesn’t count against your PTO and we even got free plane tickets to wherever we wanted to go. Some of the single officers I knew were smart and buddied up to go to Europe or Australia but most everyone goes home. I chose to go home in November because it’s me and my older bros birth month and also thanksgiving. Anyway, each person signs up for different weeks during the deployment and each section just staggered the leave so that business (3a) could run as usual while one of their soldiers is home vomiting in their mom’s toilet during a family party, whilst crying about not wanting their cousin who just became a corpsman to have to deploy.
(3a) The business of killing.
(4) A Squadron is the same as a Battalion but it’s different because we were a Cavalry unit and if you ain’t cav… well you don’t even want to know.
(5) A FOB is a Forward Operating Base and fobbit is a pun based on FOB and hobbit meaning we didn’t go off base, we’d never fire a weapon in combat, aside from a few close-ish calls with mortar fire or rockets that would hit the FOB every couple weeks (give or take) we would never see any “action.”
(6) Use weapons to try and kill people.
(7) Thank goodness these people who were never a threat to America will no longer be able to be threats to America!
(8) Comms blackouts occurred when a US service member or an ally died in battle. The base headquarters would cut all the internet and phone lines on the base so that the Army could notify the next of kin before anyone else had a chance to spill the beans. They usually lasted a day or two but sometimes longer. And it was always unexpected so it could have been on your day off for your birthday or when your kid was just born and you want to talk to your wife and hear their first breaths on the other end and it didn’t fucking matter.
It’s a very fucked up, selfish, narrow minded thought and I’m not proud of it (9) but I definitely remember at least a couple times where a comms blackout really ruined my day and made me resentful of the newly deceased.
(9) For the record I’m not proud of having participated in a war in Iraq, or a war period. If that wasn’t already abundantly clear. I’m saying it now. There’s nothing to be proud of in war. And if there are any Iraqi people reading this, I know I owe you a better apology but for now, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for having participated in the murder and terrorizing of your people.
(10) When I first came home I had some of the classic PTSD symptoms like difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and reacting to loud noises. I remember going to Legoland (it’s for like 2-10 year olds) with my ex and the young kids she nannied for who we’re probably 3 and 5 at the time and one of the rides had these water canons that blast straight up. They’re supposed to be like mortar explosions or whatever kid friendly very of those would be and when they went off the first time they nearly sent me flying over a wall. Even after realizing what they were they’d still make me jump to where I just had to get the fuck out of there. Now most of my PTSD is in nightmares, and feelings of unrelenting guilt and depression about having participated in an unjust war that lasted nearly two decades, the occasional suicidal thoughts (neat!), and feelings of absolute rage against those who insisted on that war and have been so callous with the lives of young men and women who want to do good.
(11) In the Army I was conditioned to not take care of myself. Whether it was a physical injury like a sprained ankle, an illness like the flu, and definitely ANYTHING mental health related. Mental health in active duty to me sounds like a paradox. Like I can’t imagine what “proper” mental health care in an active duty unit would even look like during the time that I was in. We were always strongly encouraged to just drink water and soldier on. And if you DID go to the doctor —even if you were legit sick/injured you would be shamed not only by your chain of command but also by all of your peers who were conditioned to see you as a bitch, or a puss, or shammer whose trying to get out of PT or helping unload the connex or whatever the fuck manual labour they had you doing all the fucking time. So because of that when soldiers like me get out we’re not good at all about taking care of ourselves physically and especially mentally.
Just a little Good Natured post
A blog entry about an art show at the best public gallery in San Diego.
To anyone living in San Diego who is interested in Art with a capital “A” but maybe isn’t exactly sure where to find it in this city whose culture seems to be spread impossibly thin, this blog is for you! In my nearly 4 decades on this planet I’ve spent more than 9/10 of my time living in and around San Diego. After college I bounced around from Rancho Bernardo, to North Park, to the Midway district, to Vista/Oceanside, to Poway, and now I’m happily in Ocean Beach which I am beyond grateful for. I say this not to brag (1) but I say it to share that I’ve lived in many parts of the county and the one thing that is consistent to all this living is that EVERYTHING in San Diego is spread the fuck out and the “Art Scene” if there even is one, is no exception. For years I’ve known that the museums at Balboa Park were a hub. After starting to spend more and more time there I’d begin to prefer the Spanish Artist Village as it had more to offer and IMHO often provided more compelling or at least digestible work than most of the stuffy shows that had been on view at the museums for what felt like forever. (2)
As I started taking my photography more seriously and started becoming an “artist” myself, it became important for me to start finding the places where "good" art is shown in town. And in this city it has been a real struggle. Over the years I’d be reminded of the Museum of Contemporary Art in La Jolla, I’d also found the commercial galleries in La Jolla while working in that part of town for a number of years, and I’ve found few more gallery spaces in various parts of town but most of what I found were some version of a commercial gallery. I learned in the last few years about the artist studios and galleries in Liberty Station, through some of my friends I made while beginning to show/sell my work at the annual ArtWalk shows (3) in the same location. However, in my understanding, if you are not actively or passively paying rent on the space (4) I've only found a couple legit public galleries that show great work. The Crème de la crème being the San Diego Public Library Gallery at the San Diego Central Library in downtown which is what this whole meandering blog is all about.
The space itself is nothing short of incredible. It sits on the top floor of the now 10 year old library that I still refer to as “the new library.” (5) The space is everything you’d imagine an art gallery look like. If I had to guess I’d say it was 20’ x 60’ but I’m not a contractor and it’s not easily googleable so “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” At any rate it’s a good size room, great lighting, typical sterile environment, it feels exactly like a room/hall in a museum. The only difference is that this is a free gallery space and it’s open to the public. The first time I walked in I couldn’t believe it was free. Granted it’s a much smaller experience than going to a whole museum, but the quality of the work and the level of excellence of the gallery I just couldn’t believe it was for the people.
As an emerging artist it’s been important for me to start understanding this world that I am attempting to occupy so I’ve been getting out to art events and exhibitions around town as much as I can and every time I’ve come to the library gallery I’ve been absolutely blown away by what was on view and unlike the boring ass San Diego museums (6) there’s a new show what seems like every quarter and this latest show… my god. It’s sensational.
It’s title Good Natured and every piece is in one way or another about the environment. How incredible is that?! Now I’m sure some of you may be thinking, “ok so the show is about the environment, so what?” To be fair, if that’s your takeaway, fine —but also THE ENVIRONMENT IS ONLY THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE WE FACE AS A SPECIES SO ITS KIND OF LIKE ALL WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT ALWAYS!!! But other than that, I could see your point.(7) I guess I’m just tired of seeing meaningless bullshit work and shows and there is SOOOOOO MUCH OF THAT going on these days... So to see a show with incredible work AND purpose that shines lights on different aspects of the environmental crisis and highlights the delicate nature of the environment through a collection of vastly different pieces and perspectives was something that I not only can get behind, but it’s probably the best and most important show in the city that I’ve seen.
As you may have realized this isn’t a formal art critique like one by one of my heroes, Mr. Jerry Saltz, but rather a blog post from an artist who appreciates good work and would like to see more of it in his hometown. I don’t have the vocabulary to adequately describe each piece, or to articulate just how impactful this particular show was to me, but I think there’s enough here where you can get the gist. Also, being a smaller show, I think a better use of my time and skillset is to try and pique the interest of people who might actually make the pilgrimage downtown and dedicate 30 mins to an hour or so to go give the gallery a visit. (9)
Good Natured curated by Bonnie Domingos and featuring work by Trevor Amery, Mariah Armstrong, Stephanie Bedwell, Taylor Chapin, Aaron Glasson, Sofia V. Gonzales, Judit Hersko, Bianca Juarez, Timothy Murdoch, Margaret Noble, Terri Hughes-Oelrich, Catherine Ruane, Tatiana Ortiz-Rubio, and Ruth Wallen will continue its run through the end of the month (7/30/23) and I recommend it to anyone and everyone. Every piece in the show is amazing, which speaks to Bonnie's credit as a curator. And if I had to pick just one piece as my favorite it would be the postcard rack, by Margaret Noble located right near the entrance. It features different postcards with a local board of tourism inspired “sometimes…” written in script font on the front over the top of images indicative of environmental decay/catastrophe and inscribed with a cultural norm that devastates the environment on the back. Written in the style of a personal confession “Sometimes I do ________,” which showcases how much power we as individuals, and collectively as a society have to make a positive impact on the environment by simply engaging in small changes in personal behavior. Just an absolute gem. Any who, enough gushing/butchering other’s work. Go check it all out for yourself while you still can through the end of the month, and then go check out some books from the library below.
(1) Because let’s be honest there’s only a couple of neighborhoods/cities that I listed that I’m proud to have lived in. IJS.
(2) To be fair to the museums, most of what’s shown/available at the artist studios is very commercial, and probably wouldn’t be a great fit for a museum show but there’s also some real shit in there too.
(3) It's an art fair.
(4) Passively through a steep commission via a commercial gallery.
(5) Let's be honest, in terms of the skyline and coming from a local boy it still feels quite new.
(6) Shots fired.
(7) I know i'm just speaking for me but one of my biggest pet peeves is artists who are afraid to tackle issues in their work (regardless of the medium they work in) to avoid being viewed as “political” or because the work might not sell, or whatever the fuck justification they have for making the shitty, boring, soulless, or all of the above work that they happen to make. To me art is about communication, and if the only thing your art communicates is "pretty" or "fun!" that ain't going to matter in 30 years when we're all living in Kevin Reynolds'(8) Waterworld, and it ain't going to help wake anyone up from our collective consumerist coma either.
(8) Arguably Kevin Costner's Waterworld.
(9) Free 2 hour parking in the underground parking. Just validate on the first floor on the left, by the counter after you walk through the metal detectors.
May 23 Update
Richard gives a written and visual life update from May 23.
Hello friends,
[For everyone:] How are you doing? [For the San Diego locals:] Is the cold June weather freaking you out? [For your parents:] Can you believe half the year has passed by already? [For my woke friends:] Did you have a good Juneteenth? [For Brad:] Did Jeff ever give you the fifty bucks back that you lent him back in January?
I realize I’m VERY late to getting to my blog/newsletter/slideshow this month which is annoying and I do apologize because I’m really trying to establish good habits and consistency with these posts BUT at the same time I’m also I have to hide behind my first-time-foster-parent card again because we had some unexpected events and ended up having to write up lengthy incident reports while we’re supposed to be on vacation. I’ve learned in foster life things don’t always go as expected and I just have to play the ball as it lays. Things with fostering/Wolfy are looking pretty grim as Erin, Wolfy, and myself are continually reminded just how broken the system is. To put it plainly: it’s sickening how harmful the system is to the kids in it. A common thread we’ve found is a lot of people working in the system have shortages in the spine department and therefore kids are needlessly put in harm’s way. —aaaaanyway I have to change gears otherwise I’ll go on a diatribe/write myself into the fetal position so…
Photographically May (and I guess most of June too) has been a great time for me. I linked up with a musician’s jam based around the same crew I ran into at the skate park a few months back and I made it out to shoot with them a couple times now and I plan to shoot with them more throughout the summer. Such a talented group and so fun rockin’ with them. Also been continuing work on my captivity project though I didn’t have it reviewed yet as I’d hoped for but I think I might have time to make that happen pretty soon so I’m not sweating it too much. All that and I’ve been making my appearances at a lot of artist talks, I’ve gone on a couple photo walks with the SD Walkabouts crew met some new like minded friends, I also met up with some of my new friends from Medium Photo for an informal coffee and catch up event, and I just went to the MCASD (La Jolla) with my family this weekend for Father’s Day. Needless to say my art cup is quite full at the moment which is nice.
In addition to shooting a lot this month and filling my art cup I’ve also got a lot of shows on the horizon which is pretty exciting to look forward to. I’ll be doing a one day show with ArtWalk at Liberty Station on 7/7/23 (Friday) for their Summer Series and then in August I have my first Walk In Art event in Hillcrest on 8/3. The Walk In Art events take place the first Thursday of each month and I’ve committed to doing August, September, and October so far. Right after my first Walk in Art I have the ArtWalk @ Liberty Station which is on 8/5-8/6 BUT this year they’re adding a Preview pARTy which is a ticketed event on the Friday before 8/4 so it’s a little more exclusive but also very exciting. If you’re interested in attending I have a few comped tickets so DM me or shoot me an email.
Then right after that four-day run of working my booth (8/3 - 8/6) I’m off to Boston and NJ for two weeks with Erin and hopefully Wolfy. We’re even doing a quick 2 day stop in NY on the tail end which is really exciting as I’ve never been and you know, street photography Mecca and what not.
For the record: The pictures/slideshow are only from May so even though this blog covers may and most of June. For June photos you’ll just have to wait until next month’s slideshow in a couple weeks.
Alright, that is it. I love you all. Thanks to everyone who supports me. If you are interested in buying prints or postcards you can do it here, and if you want to send me some love you can do it in the comments or at richard@ricpics.me.
Be well,
Richard :)
There’s something in the water at The Template on Mondays (and it sounds a lot like GREAT FUCKING LIVE MUSIC)
Richard shares his experience shooting a professional musicians’ jam at The Template in Ocean Beach, CA.
Hello friends,
You might recall that back in March I wrote about a time where I briefly stumbled across an epic jam/drum battle while out on a walk with Erin. As I was writing that blog I made initial contact with @john_mdrums a.k.a. John Martinez drummer extraordinaire on insta who was the reason the jam was put together (1). As things go, I kept up with John because I knew how impactful the 10 minutes I shared with his crew was to me personally and he was my connection to that scene. So I kept my ears to the street for an opportunity to spend more time together and the opportunity soon came.
About a month ago I saw John post about a jam that he was putting together at The Template, this insane art café (2) in OB that I absolutely love. I mentioned that I’d love to come by and shoot photos sometime which John seemed receptive to but this wouldn’t be able to materialize until a month later (3) so I don’t think he put much stock into my threat. As luck would have it, the jams kept on and last Monday (4) I reached out to John to confirm as much.
“Yo man you guys jamming tonight?”
“Yes”
“Template?”
“Yes”
“Rad. I’ll see you there man.”
Now in hindsight I realize that I am a crazy person for thinking John would remember me saying I wanted to come take pictures of his jam a month ago but I showed up with my camera ready to shoot anyway. My month old intel had a 6pm start time and I strolled up at 6:15pm thinking I was late but as it turned out the jam was scheduled to start at 6:30pm and in reality it didn’t really get started until closer to 7pm. This was fine because it gave me time to meet some of the musicians that were hanging out waiting for things to get going.
I awkwardly wedge myself into some conversations and chatted up anyone who would have me which led to some great conversations and some …well pretty uncomfortable “Welp. See you later” moments. Luckily for me I’m able to see the humor in these situations and not take it as a slight against me. And for the record, there were only a couple of these hilariously awkward moments and most everyone I chatted with was super nice and welcoming even though I did show up as a complete outsider —with a camera no less.
After 30 minutes of schmoozing and occasionally flailing socially I sense things are getting close to starting so I start shooting a little. The musicians waste no time. After a collaborative effort to throw a massive rug over a support beam to help with the acoustics from the drum kit, they’re ready too. Their sound checks are not your typical snare hit, snare hit, snare hit, …symbol crash, symbol crash… No these guys just start playing —and fucking well. Really fucking well. I recognize some of them from the jam at the skatepark and I am immediately in that feeling again. The talent oozes from these players. It’s intoxicating. Surreal.
I don’t waste my time either (5). I jump in and start getting a feel for the various players and the space. After 10 minutes or so of this it is fully on!
Throughout the night there were a handful of drummers, a couple percussionists and bass players, a few key players, a flautist, a few horn players (two sax, one trumpet), one beatboxer, one singer who popped up near the end, and naturally a metric shit ton of guitarists. It is a “professional musician’s jam” and as such everyone absolutely rips it.
The house band leads the jam with John popping out from behind his kit to MC between songs. They play for two and a half hours straight taking only short breaks (6) between songs to occasionally shout out the players, and after a few songs to start cycling in other musicians who have been patiently waiting in the audience for their turn to shred. As much as I love music I’ve never been classically trained and therefore I’m not able to speak very intelligently about the genre of music being played, if any (7) but I’d say the music this night lived somewhere in the contemporary upbeat Jazz (8), funk, adult alternative, and rock world with plenty of room for anything and everything. To put it more simply you could classify it as great live music, with real life and soul.
To think that this is a FREE SHOW is almost unfathomable as it was truly one of the best live music experiences of my life, and not to suck my own dick here but I’ve been to a ton of incredible concerts, festivals, and shows but something about this jam... I mean the sheer talent, the improvised nature of it all, and the experimental vibe of The Template itself, it really just makes for something truly special. If you’re in San Diego or close by and you want to see some of the most talented musicians in the city put the plane together midflight as they rocket off the proverbial cliff, come through to The Template on Mondays 6:30pm – 9:30pm, get your face melted, and throw a $20 in the tip jar (9). If you are a LIVE music or jam band fan, this is for you.
(1) It was a birthday shed! (sung in the style of the Monster Mash “it was a graveyard smash” refrain)
(2) Picture Burning Man if it was a coffee shop.
(3) As a parent it’s not always easy for me to get out on a weeknight and last month I was already pretty tapped out attending many events of a multi-week photo festival, and prepping and participating in my favorite art fair of the year —Look I was busy OK?!
(4) March 8, 2023
(5) I came to shoot music, maaaaaan.
(6) We’re talking maybe 30 seconds to a minute max.
(7) DON’T LIKE TRY TO PUT ME IN A BOX, MAAAAN!
(8) I’m just typing words. I have no idea what I’m talking about, but it feels right if that means anything.
(9) Or more!
April 23 Update
Richard gives a written and visual life update from April 23.
Hello my friends,
Man what a month it has been. For the regulars it might seem like I’d only just wrote a journal entry, and THAT is because well… I really just did. But I’m trying to get back on my more timely schedule but we’ll see how this goes. I still have to do my photos and slideshow as I’m writing this but there’s no grant application or photo festival in my way this time so we’ll see.
Anywho, personal life has been in a bit of a tough patch with everything going on with our foster kiddo (court and other related stress), funny that my photography from winter lined up so nicely with my self diagnosed circumstantial depression/funk that I have been in. Synchronicities man… take em however you like [or not]. This month has been more of the same although I am putting more effort into my self-care —which TBH is already pretty strong so don’t cry for me [Argentina].
Last month was a bit of a grind in photo related activities, the Medium Photo Festival which is primarily lectures and artistic talks and what not, writing a grant application, and just this past weekend I had an ArtWalk event (art fair) in Little Italy so the last couple of weeks have been a lot of framing and prepping for that show. So busy busy busy but admittedly not a ton of shooting itself in April which was unfortunate as shooting is one of my main forms of self-care. So that is what excites me about this month. Nothing on the calendar other than me and the camera(s) getting some steps, getting some hours, and getting to work.
As far as the ArtWalk event this past weekend, man I’m at a loss for words. It was another successful show on so many levels that it caught me right in the feels (again). It must be something about the Little Italy shows. To everyone who came out and bought prints or postcards and helped put fuel in the tank: THANK YOU! To everyone who came through to chat about my work, or photography, or gave any kind of positive energy, hot tips, and exhibition opportunities: THANK YOU! To my family that came through and my friend Kern, I love you all. THANK YOU! To ArtWalk for putting on a great event: THANK YOU! And to everyone else who helped make this weekend a success: THANK YOU!
Those show weekends are always all the things, nerve racking (am I going to make sales?), exhilarating (any time I make a sale), reassuring (anytime someone gives me a compliment or makes a comment to let me know they get me), hilarious (all the awkward encounters with fair attendees that visit my booth but aren’t interested AT ALL in my work, or the people who also don’t give a shit about my work but want to talk my ear off about whatever (usually their dog or something)), unexpected (meeting fellow artists, art lovers, and rad people I never know what to expect but I’m always pleasantly surprised), exhausting (prep, setup, being “on” for 8 hours straight 2 days in a row, then break down). Overall I feel that they are overall very positive for me, but still, they are A LOT.
After visiting my chiropractor and getting in some good naps on Monday and Tuesday I’m finally coming down from this weekend and it’s freeing me up to think about what I want to work on this month. I’ve had a captivity/zoo/aquarium animal project that I’ve been working on. Some of the shots have been making their way into my recent newsletters, blog posts, and Instagram feed. Anyway, I put together a rough cut of the project for a friend who wrote me a letter of recommendation for my grant application, but I think it would be helpful to get some feedback on that project from a trusted reviewer and I have someone in mind so hopefully I can get that in the works for this month.
Nothing else really of note. I have started reading Keith Harring’s Journals and I love it. It’s incredible how knowledgeable he was at such a young age. Sometimes when I read his thoughts it makes me feel like an idiot for being 37 and just starting to develop that type of an understanding of the world but mostly it just makes me feel like I’m on the right path. Like “oh he had that shit figured out right before he was blowing up. Yup gotta stay true to myself and keep moving forward. Things are gonna happen for me. I’m Joe Dirt!”
Also, his journal does make me want to start doing some more intermittent journaling (as opposed to just these monthly posts) because it just feels like a more useful exercise than trying to sum up a whole month in one post. I dunno though, we’ll see. I also don’t want to spread myself too thin because I also took a hit on my work time available since we have Wolfy every day during the week now whereas Tuesdays and Thursdays I used to be able to work until 5-5:30pm I now can only work until 3pm on Tuesdays and 12:30pm on Thursdays without working something out with Erin (I know!). Not complaining but time management is everything and losing 7.5 hours of work per week is significant and I’m trying to get adjusted to this new schedule.
Anyway, I should get back to my computer and work on my pictures/this month’s slideshow because I haven’t gone through any of that yet! (Shhh).
Alright, love you all. Thanks to everyone who supports me. If you are interested in buying prints or postcards you can do it here, and if you want to send me some love you can do it in the comments or here richard@ricpics.me.
Be well,
Richard :)
P.S. Slideshow and Gallery below. Just remember it was a light month so there’s admittedly not many bangers in there. What can you do, ya know?
March 23 Update
Richard gives a life a written and visual life update from March 23.
Hi friends,
If you’re coming from my newsletter, you know the past few weeks put me through a bit of a ringer. If you’re not coming from my newsletter: Welcome. And to catch you up the past few weeks have put me through a bit of a ringer. Boom. All caught up—but also, WHY ARE YOU NOT SUBSCRIBED TO MY NEWSLETTER?! DO YOU NOT LIKE CHANCES TO WIN FREE PRINTS?! DO YOU WANT ME TO BE YELLING AT YOU TO SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER?! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!?!?
Just Joshin ya. Live your life how you want to, boo. #nohardfeelings
Anywho, like any other month when you’re a first time parent/emerging artist, this past month [and a half] was a busy one but on top of that it felt like it was exceptionally busy for a number of reasons. Erin’s (1) birthday was in March so there were lots of projects and planning that had to go into that. A couple birthday projects were collabs between me and Wolfy (2) which I was very excited about. Also, in March we had a parent teacher conference, one of my niece’s birthdays, and COURT (TWO TIMES!) which is always nerve racking.
We had a small victory during the hearing in early March but by now we’ve learned to really measure our responses because with every step forward something behind the scenes happens and it’s like 10 steps backwards and it can really fuck us up emotionally. This last month and a half has been no different in that regard. As a bonus we had a special court hearing AGAIN this past Monday (#toosoon) and there weren’t many silver linings that time. No matter how much you learn about how broken the foster system is, nothing can fully prepare you for the experience of witnessing its failures first hand and loving someone who it is failing and feeling powerless to help them.
Self care. Grace. Trusting the process. Self care.
Things this past month and a half weren’t all bleak though. I did have a number of distractions in addition to birthdays and family stuff, namely attending many of the Medium Photo Photography Festival events which ran from April 1-16. I participated in a community pop-up sale where I was happy to slang postcards and prints and meet and connect with an awesome group of photographers, artists, creatives, and aficionados. Most of the other events I attended at the festival were artist talks, gallery openings, and seminars on subjects that I’m highly interested in (e.g. book publishing). It was A LOT and it was fucking awesome. I had such a great time connecting with my people (artist/photographers) and as they say in France: I learned a shit ton.
After two weeks of the Medium Photo Festival I was absolutely wiped but the show had to go on and I spent much of last week completing a grant application before I was able to finally take a breather. That leaves me in the present where I am trying to finish getting these posts up (I'm only 20 days behind schedule...) and I'm starting to get prepared for my upcoming ArtWalk event in little italy (April 29-30). If you're a local and you want to come pick up some prints, postcards, or just say what's up and check out the scene I highly recommend it. I'll be in booth 522 on Date St. Come through!
So this is my first public journaling that I am sharing on my website/blog. Previously I had done it on my FB (during the first 100 days or so of COVID), and in my newsletter for the past few months, but this feels like right the place. The goal is to write at least one monthly journaling post where I’ll also include photos taken during that month in both a slideshow format (via YouTube) and in an online gallery format for those who want to take their time with any of the photos as the slideshows will go by pretty quickly.
You can check out this month’s slideshow below or this month’s gallery even more below.
Thanks for reading and I hope you are all taking care of yourselves.
Be well,
Richard :)
P.S. You may notice the pictures I show don't always coincide with the words I write and this is for two reasons. A) The photos I post on these monthly journal entries are essentially a separate visual journal. A window into my life. Some things I can show, others I cant (see note 2 below) but in either case B) I generally believe that the viewer is intelligent enough to make sense of the photos on their own without me spelling it out for them. That said, if there ever are any questions as to what's going on in any of the pictures you can always ask. Preferably in the comments below but also, you can DM me on Insta or shoot me an email.
Notes:
(1) Erin is my better half. The love of my life. My partner. My world.
(2) Wolfy is the name I use to speak about Erin and I's foster child. There are a lot of rules about not sharing info publicly due to her being in the foster system so I use this code name and shy away from details about her and her story (that latter more out of respect to her than the rules of the foster system FWIW). She is the second love of my life, the best fucking kid in the world, and Erin and I are hopeful that she will become a permanent member of our family at some point in the future, hence all the court talk.
The Return of the Music Project
While out on a leisurely feral cat/bird watching outing I unexpectedly stumbled upon a birthday jam session that blew me away.
This past Saturday, our foster daughter, Wolfy (1) had a sleepover and so Erin and I had a little more “us time” than usual. As we like to do we went on a nice long walk around our neighborhood in Ocean Beach. We were walking toward the jetty to go visit the feral cat colony and do some light birding (#alwaysbebirding) as per the usual. As we approached the skate park (which is on the way) we could hear some loud music being played (mostly drums). We weren’t sure if it was a drum circle or what but it did sound a little more complex than your run of the mill OB drum circle (no offense), and those usually take place about a mile or so away over by Newport so I was a little confused, but either way the rhythm had me hooked.
As we got to the outside of the skate park we could tell there was what seemed like some kind of a jam going on inside. Erin could tell she’d be a little overwhelmed/uncomfortable if we went in together and offered to chill outside the skate park for a little while I went into the park and checked out the scene and shot a little. (2) So I confirmed she was cool (3), set a timer for 10 minutes, and went inside to check out the scene.
Walking up I saw there were two drummers both rocking full kits, a bass player keeping it funky, and a young dude getting jiggy wit it on the keyboard as another dude tickled the keys a little over his shoulder. There were some balloons and a handmade sign showing that it was someone’s birthday but I didn’t focus on that too much because my time was too tight and the music was too intoxicating. It was a rad scene to pull up into and I wanted to maximize on the experience.
Because I was on a time crunch I didn’t have much time to hesitate so after my quick assessment I started working the scene. I started wide shooting the whole scene and pretty quickly some of the musicians noticed me. I started locking in on them as they played and it became a clear give and take where the musician I was focused on would start what can only be described as: “fuckin’ playin’ that thang.” I shifted my way around the circle going from musician to musician as they took turns ripping it up. I felt like a director as I tried my best to make some quick portraits in my short window. I was using a compact camera which allowed me to really be able to get close and play with my compositions. The musicians “going off” really was an incredible energy exchange and a fun impromptu collaboration that made the photos. I could not have had more fun in that moment.
My time ran up much quicker than I would have liked but I was happy to have had that experience. I left my card [and no money](SORRY!) in a tip jar looking thing in the hopes that someone would reach out and eventually I connected with the birthday boy himself on insta. After connecting with him online I learned this was a jam/drum battle a.k.a. a “drum shed” that was organized for his birthday. After seeing some of the videos on his insta I realized I didn’t get ANY shots of him because he was not playing while I was there shooting (D’oh!). At any rate I had a blast and am just so thankful that all the musicians were so generous with their talent and their space. It also makes me super thankful to live in an area where there is real ass art and creativity all the time. I hope my pictures do “the shed” some justice and please go check the birthday boy (@john_mdrums) out on insta and his band Sweet Myths also on insta. They have an upcoming show on April 27th at The Holding Company in OB so check that if you can and aside from all that ummmm… remember to always keep it funky I guess.
I dunno.
I love you.
Bye.
-Richard :)
(1) Not her real name but also if you want to keep up with me subscribe to my newsletter.
(2) How fucking awesome is she?
(3) She was.
The photo that changed my life
A blog post about how a single Martin Parr photograph set me onto my journey as a photographer/artist.
ITALY. Rome. Colosseum. Statues and tourists at the Colosseum. 1993. © Martin Parr/Magnum Photos
I like to imagine that in every artist's life there's a piece of art, in their medium, that they just CONNECT with and it sets them on their journey to become who they are as an artist. I'm certain this is not the case for every artist and it's probably a total oversimplification bordering on an idealistic way at looking at the world, but I guess that's just how my brain works #sorrynotsorry.
I delight in wondering what was the album (or song) that made Thom Yorke want to pursue music. What was the film that made Tarantino want to make movies, what was the painting that made Warhol want to pick up the brush? Would there be satisfying answer for each? I'm certain Tarantino has the film as his work is very referential and he often speaks of how he is paying homage with specific shots, scenes, etc. and he's also very open about his love for cinema so for him I think it's just my laziness that's stopping me from knowing that specific answer(1) but I have no idea if Thom Yorke would have an album that inspired him to become a musician because he seems like he could have just as easily been inspired by an obscure work of art that has nothing to do with music, or a process such as photosynthesis, or even something along the lines of "the overwhelming helplessness associated with people's unconscious and relenting desire to ensure suffering perpetuates." For the record those are not actual Thom Yorke references or inspirations, it's just crude interpretations of things that I could imagine him being inspired by as an artist.
Humourous aside: How funny would it be if I had a chance to ask Thom and he dead ass answered "Whitesnake - Here I go again. Hands down. Brilliant."
<waves of laughter>
Oh we do have fun!
I do get I can be kind of a snob at times (2) when it comes to art and entertainment or anything really but having that awareness of myself and my snobbery doesn't take away from my belief that —at least in my mind —artists like Andy Warhol or Thom Yorke would have to be inspired by something much deeper than something akin to a Whitesnake song, as popular as it might have been (3) and I'm just curious as to what that might have been for them.
For me, I have grown to see myself become a sponge, soaking up my favorite traits, mannerisms, and ways of thinking and doing from everyone who came before me in virtually every aspect of life. I first noticed this with artists who work in mediums that I have practiced in, but eventually learned about the crossover (4) and now basically I take from anyone and everyone. I'm inspired by all kinds of people; musicians, comedians, philosophers, poets, writers, painters, animators, filmmakers, chefs, parents, teachers, scientists, naturalists, conservationists, activists, public servants. I could keep going... health care providers, entrepreneurs, inventors, athletes, philanthropists, care givers, etc. I am inspired by so many different kinds of folks because I subscribe to the personal philosophy of "Always be learning" and I believe that anyone can be a teacher as long as you (me) are always willing to learn. As a practicing life artist and I’ll take valuable lessons from just about anyone, BUUUUUUUT if me/my work had to be distilled down to just one medium right now that'd have to be photography (5)(6)(7). And fortunately, with respect to photography I do have THE picture that… well,,, changed my life really, and I am incredibly thankful for my photography professor and friend Amy Caterina, for first sharing it with me.
The photo I'm thinking of is the Martin Parr photograph shown above (and also found on Page 12 of Mr. Parr’s book Small World) and I’m gonna talk about it for a bit. The photo is a colour photo and filling out most of the frame in the center of the photo shown in soft focus (but not too soft) is a group of around 30-40 retirement aged tourists gazing up at something. Behind them and to the sides you can see some of the ancient architecture that has been preserved around the Colosseum, giving some sense of the place —also in soft focus. Lastly, in the foreground, shown in the bottom of the frame there are a couple dozen souvenir statues of Roman gods and goddesses, Michelangelo's David, etc. in sharp focus giving a humorous juxtaposition against the silver-haired group that stands behind them. That's the basic reading of this photo "oh what a funny comparison, the statue of David, compared to David Longbottom the retired plumber from Liverpool. What a laugh!" and to anyone's credit who sees that interpretation, good on you because I've also seen people miss it completely and it's quite embarrassing. "So it's like a tour group or something???" It's sad really but not surprising that our society isn't taught to critically think or even look, let alone study art. Either that or we’ve grown so accustomed to our fast-paced lifestyles that we don’t allow ourselves the time to make meaningful connections when we’re seeing art. Realistically probably a bit of both. We’re dumb in a hurry! We want stuff to be explained to us so we don't have to think about it. We want shit jammed down our throats while people (also without taste) assure us it’s good. Our consumption of art is basically at crisis level: Jello-shot. It's how this picture came to exist in the first place (8) but I digress...
When I first saw the photo, I immediately got the juxtaposition and the comedian in me (9) really appreciated it because photography, or should I say good photography was still very new to me at the time when I first saw this photo. So seeing humour in a photo was a revelation. Beyond that I saw that there was still more meat on the bone. In fact, I felt it. I saw people as we are, compared to our own idealistic versions of ourselves. We like to imagine ourselves as these fit, godlike, beings, mastering the universe but the reality is we are doughy, prisoners to our own stupidity and greed. Not allowed to thrive when we are in our primes because we have manufactured ourselves to be slaves to capitalism. We are supposed to be exploring, engaging, and experiencing the natural world as we are in our physical peaks like those figures in the statues, yet most working-class folks do not get to have an opportunity to do anything remotely close until they reach the age of 65 if they’re lucky.
I'd never seen anything like this in a photograph —and I’d seen some real as the kids say “bangers” too, but I’d never seen something like a societal critique so damningly portrayed in a single frame like that. A photo that has a meaningful message that doesn't trigger a trauma reaction -AAAAND it's humourous. I didn't know photography could do those things, so short of listening to "The Power of Now" seeing this photo for the first time might have been the most liberating experience of my entire life.
For me this photo was a call to action. The wakeup call I needed. The cautionary tale. I could follow my dreams, become the photographer behind the lens, and see the world NOW; or I could continue on the path I was on as a CPA, gaming the system doing taxes for the rich and become one of the faceless people in photo. Trapped working against my own interests until I'm too old to do anything outside the supervision of a tour guide, unaware of the potential that I'd let slip between my fingers like the grains of the hour glass. Fortunately, I have answered the call and have decided to "Get busy living, or get busy dying." (10)
At this point in my career I'm what's commonly referred to as "poor as fuck,” (11) I'm virtually unknown, BUT I'm also the happiest I've ever been. It's the first time in my life that I can honestly say I'm living with any kind of intention. This is in contrast to the past when I'd always felt like my life was on some kind of autopilot. My life now feels like a new level of vibrance (12) and it's a feeling that I don't know I'd ever felt before. Maybe as a kid but even then, I'm not sure. It's a lightness, like I'm on shrooms constantly (13). It's crazy. And to think for me that all started with seeing THIS one photo.
Again major thanks to Amy Caterina for giving me the red pill and showing me this photo #YouMyMorpheus, and of course to Mr. Parr if he were ever to see this: my abilities both with the pen and behind the lens are far too inadequate to fully articulate how much this photo/your work has meant to me but I am hopeful that this post is a start to me expressing that gratitude and it is my greatest hope that one day my work can inspire a generation behind me in the way that yours has (and still does) for me. Thank you.
If you enjoyed my writing or my photos below (inspired by Martin Parr) and would like to read/see more the best way to do so is by subscribing to my newsletter (if you’re nasty). In my newsletter you’ll get regular updates on projects, shows, life updates, recent photos, etc. and of course more of my hilarious, thought-provoking, and definitely not meandering writing.
Also, feel free to noodle around on my site, look through my projects, blog, and print store if you’d like to purchase a limited-edition print or even a postcard. Anything helps (I’m broke AF!!!) and if you want to reach me, shoot me a DM on insta.
(1) Although if I'm being honest I sometimes like not knowing. You can find this in some of my work even. Not knowing makes for better mental stimulation. It's why I like Radiohead.
(2) This on account of I'm a GIIIINORMOUS snob.
(3) Whitesnake's "Here I go again" reached #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100 list at its peak position in 1987 and was #7 on the year-end chart for 1987.
(4) I’ve found that it is important for me as an artist to seek out and really take in work outside of photography. It can be just as important as being immersed in photography itself.
(5) Something about me and photography just "clicked."
(6) When I was given the opportunity to follow my dreams and become a photographer I knew I had to give it a "shot."
(7) Honestly, I couldn't "picture" doing anything else with my life.
(8) Our inability to think for ourselves is exactly why tour groups exist. We travel in ways where we want to be shepherded around and shown what to look at and told what to enjoy and since the creation of Mr. Parr’s book, Small Wonder, mindless tourism/consumerism has only gotten worse.
(9) I'm sure you tell from my hilarious writing that I've bombed multiple hundreds of times on stage as an open mic comedian. I think it shows. It shows right? Hello?!
(10) Those of you cinephiles who love the talkies as much as I do will know the quote.
(11) This is mostly for humourous effect I'm ok.
(12) I’m talking +15 levels of vibrance here, people!
(13) I mean this in the best way.
Some of my more Martin Parr-ish photos:
Stuart Todd Whitworth: The Music Project Strikes Back
My extremely talented singer-songwriter friend, Stuart Todd Whitworth and I collaborate on a multimedia project.
I’d written before about my chance encounter with the incomparable Stuart Todd Whitworth briefly as an aside in another story regarding my music photography/project but as a refresher for us all I'll go into more detail (in case anyone is interested).
I’d first run across Stuart while I was filming some person-on-the-street interviews for a yet to be released video project. I had been bouncing all around San Diego County over the summer and fall during 2020 looking for places with people around and on this day I happened to post up in La Jolla. I had gotten some decent b-roll, a handful of participants recorded, and had been about at the end of my day. It was about the end of the day’s day as well as the sun had already set by this time, but something about Stuart’s… I dunno… aura (?) when he approached me made it feel like I NEEDED to shoot this one last interview.
Stuart gave a great interview and afterwards we started talking and he told me he was a musician and blah blah blah. I remember being pretty cooked by this time and therefore I didn’t think too much about Stuart or the fact that he was a musician. We traded information as Stuart had mentioned that he was always looking for someone to help with photo/video stuff but at the time, music work was not really something that I thought about pursuing in any degree.
Fast forward 6 months and I’d been inspired by a local jazz band that had been rehearsing near my girlfriend’s old place. I decided that there’s tons of great local musicians and I’d like to try and collaborate with them, if they’ll have me. So I’m at the Subaru dealership waiting for my car to be serviced when I get a random call from Stuart asking if I’d be interested in filming a show for him the upcoming weekend. I had plans already so it didn’t work out but I mentioned to him that I would be interested in collaborating on a photoshoot or some other project if Stuart would be interested.
He was.
Over the course of a couple months we’d catch up on the phone and meet up in person to brainstorm. Stuart told me all about his impending album release and his unorthodox process of completing the album, we listened to some of his music, and we tossed some pasta at the wall. Eventually we had a project idea that stuck and we both felt it would fit our style and artist voices. We decided on a photoshoot and interview to be smashed into a self-narrated slideshow and that is exactly what we came out with and I’m beyond excited to be able to say that it is available for everyone to watch RIGHT NOW!
I’m very proud of how this video came out so thank you for watching. If you enjoyed the video, you should definitely check out more of Stuart’s music. You can find all of his music videos on his website, or you can follow him on social to keep up with him. You can find all of his socials here. And lastly, but certainly not leastly, if you really want to support my man, Stuart, you can show love by buying his album which not only comes with a disc and download code, but also a really cool book with amazing artwork renditions of the cover art from multiple artists across multiple mediums. Like the man and the music behind it all, the album presentation is unique and beautiful.
Support the artists you love so they can keep making the art you love.
Stop the presses! I was on a Podcast!
I was on a podcast and the world needs to know about it!
Hi Friends,
Just wanted to give a quick update in case you aren't following me on insta —wait! YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING ME ON INSTA?!
Ok never mind that, but if you’d like to check me out it’s @ricpics.me on “the gram.”
Sorry that made me cringe too.
me when I use slang:
…aaaaaaanyway, I just wanted to give y’all an update and say that I was recently featured on my fellow comedian, podcaster, and good friend Dan Bublitz Jr’s new podcast, Submerged with Dan Bublitz Jr.
It’s a show where Dan interviews guests about their obsessions/passions and since he had me on we talked all about street photography!
I had a great time doing the show so please give the episode a listen if you’d like to hear more about my take on street photography, and just learn a little more about me. 🙂 If you like the show please give Dan a subscribe and check out the other episodes!
You can listen to my episode using the embedded player below, clicking THIS LINK or by searching for “Submerged with Dan Bublitz” on your preferred podcast app (itunes, spotify, etc.).
Ok just wanted to share the good news and that’s pretty much it for now.
Be well,
Richard
Día de los Muertos
A post and video about street photographer Richard Provencio and his experience shooting a Dia de los Muertos celebration in Old Town, San Diego.
Growing up I was not really immersed in the culture of my ancestors. While the adults in my life always called me and my cousins "mijo" and "mija," aside from that most of us weren't really in touch with our heritage. I didn't and still don't speak Spanish (1) and am what's known as "whitewashed." So much so that years ago my cousins, my brother, and I all stated calling each other "mijo" and "mija" as a bit of a goof. Personally I didn't even start eating Mexican food until high school! I know. I know... It's very regrettable but it is what it is.
At a young age my mom moved me and my older brother to one of the whitest, most conservative cities in San Diego County, in search of better schools and hopefully a better life than could have been provided in the neighborhood where we lived up until that point. Not speaking the language or being in touch with my roots made it easy for me to acclimate to the prevailing cultures of the scenes where I spent my time but it also meant that my roots or my connection to them faded just as easily.
I accept that I cannot change the past, and I am thankful to be where I am today, but accepting my lineage has been a long and slow process. One hindered by my inherited self-loathing/identity issues, the non-acceptance in the culture that I grew up in, and the general unconsciousness that I used to call my life. Growing older and seeking a spiritual awakening has allowed me to open up in ways that I never would have dreamed of in the past. I am constantly working to get more connected to the universe and a big part of that for me is to seek out more information about my roots on both my Mexican side and my Filipino side (2).
After hearing about one of my photography instructors' personal project where they interviewed their grandma and went through her photos, I began recreated the project with my Grams who is also my last living grand parent. We looked at her pictures, talked about where she grew up in Mexico, and she'd tell me the stories that shaped her as a person. It not only helped color my understanding of my Grams, but it also helped color my understanding of me. This is just one example of something I've done to start learning more about my people.
Sometimes I'm lucky enough to stumble into links to my culture through a popular band like The Mars Volta, or a TV show like Narcos (3), or in the case of Día de los Muertos through a movie suggestion from my girlfriend. Weirdly, I LOVE animation (4) and have seen most of the Disney and Pixar movies, but I hadn't seen the movie she suggested, Coco. It's actually not that weird at all though when you recall that I mentioned my inherited self-loathing and the reinforcement of those beliefs was fostered throughout my adolescence by the place I called home. That all made me very averse to anything “too Mexican," including even a Pixar movie which I'm essentially guaranteed to love on account of me loving animation and Pixar being the absolute best at that.
After watching the movie, which of course I loved, I was very excited. While I had long since given up on the Catholic Church (5) to eventually arrive at an agnostic/universal oneness approach to God or spirituality, the idea of Día de los Muertos did not really conflict with my new ideology. Regardless of if it did or not, after learning about the holiday (6) I was able to view it for the beautiful tradition that it is. One that comes from MY PEOPLE no less! Having seen Coco/learned about the meaning of Día de los Muertos only THIS YEAR made me very interested to learn more and how it related to my family.
The next chance I got I asked my mom if her side of the family ever celebrated the holiday to which she responded with a very unsatisfying "no" and a "I'm not sure" when I asked if she knew why. Then when I saw my Grams I asked her the same questions (she's my Dad's mother) and she more or less told me "No. Not really," but then elaborated that where she grew up in Mexico (7) it's at a higher elevation and so by November it was already way too cold for any prolonged outdoor celebration. So they made ofrendas and had some small ceremonies but essentially just quickly visited grave sites and then ran back in to the warmth of a fireplace or a stove. Now that was a satisfying "not really like they do in Mexico City."
After learning about this tradition and the virtual nonobservance in my family I became interested in seeing what the observations looked like in my hometown of San Diego, and that's how I found myself in the historic Old Town district on Día de los Muertos proper, November 2nd, which by the way also happens to be my birthday. How about that for a plot twist?! A Mexican-American man (8) born on Día de los Muertos who only learned about the holiday at 36 years old. Ay, DiOs Mío!
So with my camera in tow, and a GoPro fixed to it, I set out to shoot a POV (Point of View) street photography video of the celebration and parade. My interpretation of what was going on was that it was pretty much a normal Old Town scene; plenty of restaurants serving Mexican food; a good amount of live performances of Latin music; a marketplace with with a bunch of trinkets, traditional Mexican items like blankets and ponchos, and also a plethora of dumb bullshit like novelty t-shirts. The biggest differences between this Tuesday and any given Saturday in Old Town was that there were a number of big ofrendas setup throughout the district which takes up a couple of blocks, there was tons of face painting, and there was in fact a parade/ Procesión to the Cemetery performed by Latinx folks in traditional costumes. Additionally, there was a really great mariachi band that followed the Procesión, which was probably my favorite part of the evening.
All in all it was a solid day out and a fun event to shoot for sure. If you haven't been before and you live in San Diego it's worth checking out. One thing it did for me was make me thirsty for my new bucket list item: to see the Día de los Muertos celebrations in Mexico City.
Welp. That's pretty much it. Thanks for reading and if you haven't already, go watch Coco —after you watch my video and subscribe to my YouTube channel of course!
(1) I do try but I learned in high school and college with a 4 year break during my army years and I have never really been conversational.
(2) I have like ≈10% or something like that in my blood.
(3) Maybe not the most positive example...
(4) I studied animation for all 4 years in high school.
(5) I gave up on the institution of Catholocism, not necessarily the teachings of Jesus. An institution that condones covers up evil and rules through fear is one that I could no longer support but as the Doobie Brothers once said, "Jesus is just alright with me."
(6) In a nutshell Dia De Los Muertos a.k.a. The Day of the Dead is a joyous holiday which originated in Mexico. It is typically celebrated on November 1st and 2nd were family's make ofrendas/offerings to their deceased loved ones and share stories and photos to keep their memories/spirits alive.
(7) I think Chihuahua, but I could be fucking that up.
(8) Humour me (9).
(9) The British spelling of words is my favourite.
Boostive: a fan experience
If you read my post about the start of my music project, you might remember that for this project specifically I’m just kind of letting The Universe guide the experience and to be quite honest, it’s doing a hell of a job. So as we talked about in the first Boostive post I’d found out about the band a year after seeing some of the band and their friends rocking out at a BLM march. #BlackLivesMatter
Now a year later I’d finally had learned their band name so I’d been binging on their catalog on Napster(1)(2) for the past couple weeks and reached out to them to see if I could shoot their show and thankfully they said “yes.” (3) The show was at the Music Box in San Diego which is a newer venue to me. Since I’d never made it out before I was pretty stoked to check it out. Since I was allowed to bring my camera I decided that I would shoot the show from the perspective of a fan, and so that’s what this post is.
My man Samy Wats rockin the whip with his tunes.
I hoped into an Lyft because I wanted to indulge in the devil’s lettuce (4) and I don’t fuck around and drive. In the Lyft the driver was bumping some tunes, we got to talking, and it turned out he’s a producer/performer named Samy Wats(3). We had a good chat, and he checked out Boostive and vibed out on their sound before dropping us off. If you’re into hip-hop, or supporting San Diego artists, check out my man Samy Wats on Spotify or buy an album or some shit so he can get out of that car sooner than later.
Anyway, showing up pretty early (5) there was a small line out front and we got in after just a couple minutes standing in queue(6). The venue was a modern, three story, industrial design (think fancy rave or like midtier venue on Guitar Hero). The stair access, merch area, and bar are all close by the door when you first walk in and there was a small gathering of people around here. Judging by the ages and outfits of the group (a lot of silver foxes and hippie attire) it seemed that these were some of the parents and music scene vets. I chatted one of them up who was friends with one of the parents of a band member and had back in his day written a song that was bought by none other than Neil Young. How about that?!
Further up in front of the stage it was pretty vacant save for all the cool kids glued to the seating along the wall. This made it super easy to get a decent spot a couple people back from the railing. As more and more of the youngsters started filing in it became like a who’s who of OB (7) people and I could feel the energy building. I mean, how could a reggae show not be full of good ass vibes?! Of course this show was gonna be bangin.
The opener Dread Kennedy kicked off the show with a great set that got the audience moving and by the time they had finished their set the place was stuffed to the gills. All three levels of the club were packed and the place nearly exploded as Boostive took the stage. Unfortunately, since there are like A HUNDRED members in the band (8) it took a little time to get everyone sound checked and I could hear some of the fans around me growing a little restless. Seems standard for a crowd that had already been drinking for over an hour at this point. For the record I was chillin (9). Once the band started playing all was forgiven.
They started with a slower jam and then eventually led into some of their bangers. The dancing in the pit was epic. The crowd was vibin’ HARD. It was as awesome as I’d expected it to be.
—Quick side note: the amount of big hats at this show was unthinkably plentiful. Like leaves in a rainforest plentiful. For which I say: what the fuck??? Also, the amount of tall people who show up just before the headliner and slipped in front of the crowd is certainly a detail about shows that I did not miss from my scenester days a decade prior. I understand every body type is different and they all have their advantages and disadvantages and I’m certainly not trying to body shame anyone. I get it, if you’re tall you have a better chance of dunking or getting a girlfriend in high school but when it comes to concerts you either need to show up early or fuck right off. I mean honestly tall people and big hats. At a concert?! What the hell is wrong with people? Ok rant over.
As the dancing to my left grew stronger and every person 6’3” or above conveniently found their place directly in front of me I went upstairs to catch a reprieve and get some different vantage points with my photos. I quickly found out the second floor was for VIPs only which was weird because they wouldn’t let me in (10).
I headed up to the third floor. Real fans are always reppin in the nosebleeds so it was good to check out the scene. It was an interesting vibe and as with any concert people were very protective of their places along the railing even just squeezing in for a second to take a photo was a big todo. Aside from that and a couple drunk dudes that seemingly came to a concert to converse loudly, there were a lot of good vibes up top and the band was connecting with fans even way up on the third floor. I even got a few pictures of band members looking and gesturing up to the fans which got big responses. “Did you see?! He pointed right at me!” exclaimed the woman next to me.
I stayed on the top deck for a while and then finished up the night by weaseling my way back into the pit during the last few songs. The energy was insane and the music was absolutely killer because well it was Boostive (11). I’m not sure if The Music Box had to file an insurance claim for damages or not but I am one thousand percent sure Boostive blew the roof off that fucker. They wrapped with 3rd Ear (12), took a band selfie with the audience, then proceeded to party with the fans as the venue made the slightest of transitions into a dance club.
It was bangin in there but I was wiped from a long day behind me. My night had run it’s coarse so I headed home just day dreaming about the next time I’ll get to see the band rockin it again.
That said, if you love good ass music and you have the chance to see Boostive, DO IT! Check out their LP if you don’t believe me cus that shit is crazy fucking good and they’re just as good if not better live. So that’s pretty much it. Boostive is fucking rad, go check them out.
Well what are you waiting for?! Go listen to Boostive already!
(1) Don’t judge me.
(2) Napster, formerly known as Rhapsody was the first streaming service and I’d been subscribed since like 2008 so if there are any Spotify loyalists squirming over you can save that noise you’re kickin and kindly Bioya*.
(3) The universe.
(4) Helloooooo it’s a reggae show.
(5) I like to watch the openers is that such a crime?! In reality I’ve found so many of my favorite bands by watching all the openers. If you don’t show up for the openers at concerts you’re doing yourself a disservice.
(6) So what I like to spice things in my writing. I’m not hurting anyone.
(7) OB = Ocean Beach. An area in San Diego famous for its hippie community and strong beach vibes. Lots of crystals, dream catchers, tie dye, street performers, that kinda stuff. You smell me?!
(8) Really I think there were like 9 members.
(9) I smoke weed baby!!!
(10) My mom tells me I’m very important but I guess that’s not the same as buying some sort of ticket or something. Who even knows?
(11) Helloooooooo?!?!
(12) My favorite song of theirs and an absolute BANGER
Boostive: music with meaning
A few months back I went to my first concert since the pandemic had started(1). The band and the show were both excellent and an interesting thing about this concert was that I’d only just learned of the band maybe a couple weeks before the show but it wasn’t the first time I saw them perform. Let me explain.
Last summer (2020) during the height of the Black Lives Matter civil rights movement which had been reignited by the police murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, I was at a large march taking place in downtown San Diego at the Waterfront Park which is kinda like our city hall here …I think. Any way, it was a hot, sunny, mid-day event in June and there was a massive turnout. Over 1,000 people marching. Things seemed like they had cooled out from a week or two earlier when there had been lots of teargas and police violence at other demonstrations throughout the county (and the country). As it turned out this particular march was very peaceful and very moving.
Now for people who don’t know me well (yet) I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very open with my emotions. I cry at movies and have no qualms about it. I mean who didn’t cry during Fast 9 when Vin Diesel gave everyone unlimited soup and bread sticks? #WhenYoureHereYoureFamily #OliveGarden #BadMovies
But in all seriousness I have been moved by the power of protest a few times before in my life but this was beyond anything I’d experienced. What was so different about this march? Was it the massive crowd? The touching speeches? The diversity of the people/groups supporting? No. These were all things I’d experienced before. What set this march apart was the fact that there was a goddamn marching band.
The band was comprised of about 10 young adults with various horns and percussion instruments (including a turtle shell). They were dressed as individuals, but they played like a fucking unit. These were real-ass musicians and they quickly became the sound of the movement (at least for that day). The marchers had a bounce and a groove in their steps and many were inspired to dance. The sound was so infectious even a racist would have to admit it sounded fucking awesome. They were undeniable.
I had been photographing the march so I was in and out of the band’s presence all throughout the day and I remember wanting to try and make contact with some of the band members for a potential interview afterward but I was new to photojournalism/documentary photography and I inadvertently let them slip away. To top it off my only lead (2) ended up ghosting me after I DMed him. A major bummer no doubt.
I knew the story was interesting. I’d seen the way the people (marchers and observers) responded to the band. I felt how much the music amplified the message of the crowd and I wanted to know more. Who were these people? Did play together often? We’re they a band? A meetup group just for the march? What inspired them to come out? I was desperate to know but I was at a dead end.
That was until about a year later.
After being vaxxed and taking a break from covering injustice/activism for mental health reasons I found my way back in a comedy club after being away for over two years. While at the club downtown I’d often take advantage of the location and take street photos in the Gaslamp (bar) District while I would wait for my time slot at the open mics.
One night I was walking down the street to grab a slice of pizza when I saw a guitarist and saxophone player jammin at a sparsely populated bar(3). I was still getting used to seeing maskless people doing things from the before times and the sound was nice so I hung out for a little bit to snap a couple photos. As I was photographing the saxophonist he made eye contact, then motioned for me to come in and join in the fun. It was at this very moment that I realized I’d taken his photo before. He was one of the horn players from the marching band.
I waited for them to finish their song and then pounced.
“Did you play your sax at a protest with a marching band last summer?”
“Yeah. That was with some friends. They’re a legit band called Boostive. I jam with them sometimes.”
We exchanged info. I told him about my ongoing music project that I’m shooting and even got a solid portrait of him (follow @salmakessounds on insta). Solid chance encounter thanks to The Universe and man was that satisfying to finally connect the dots on that marching band. Ahh what an itch to scratch!
Check out my man Sal on insta @salmakessounds or as Sean Lambert on all streaming platforms. His latest single “Violet (Remix)” is streaming now.
Over the next couple of days I’d listen to Boostive’s music and be absolutely blown away. The band is a perfect mix of reggae, funk, psychedelic, rock, and hip-hop with some Latin flavor in the mix and just an overall full sound that hits you right in the jaw if you’re not expecting it. The sound was so rich (my god the horns), the vocals outstanding, and the Emcee featured on about half of the tracks on the groups LP, Creme Supreme, was kickin' some real shit on there. Like the inter connectivity of open mindedness, history, and oppression kind of shit. It made sense that THIS band would be marching in a civil rights movement, they’ve got songs on wax(4) about exactly that.
I saw they had a show playing shortly after I’d officially stumbled across their music thanks to my new friend Sal so I got a ticket and reached out to see if I could bring my camera. They said yes.
So I present to you Boostive: a fan experience.
(1) Don’t sweat me I’m vaxxed.
(2) Party for Socialism and Liberation (PSL) member who said he was friends with the band.
(3) The sparseness was due to this being a weeknight in San Diego. We really are a weekend only town as far as partying is concerned.
(4) Or whatever. You know what I mean.
Norm
He was my favorite comedian. I think he was actually everyone’s favorite. Like if you don’t think Norm is your favorite comic, well you just haven’t watched enough Norm and that’s really just on you AND you need to stop blaming other people for your own short comings. —But for real, no one could claim that someone’s funnier than Norm. It’s just not possible. Maybe “as funny as” on a good day, but not “funnier.” Not a fucking chance. He was the funniest person who has ever lived. Any of the greats would say the same. He was the true definition of a comedic genius with no hyperbole. Also, he was just an actual genius. Not like just an actual genius —but like he was a genius of the non comedic variety as well. His encyclopedic mind and sheer intellect is what allowed him to be the comedic genius we all know and loved but his mind was something to marvel at on its own outside of comedy. I loved Norm so much I had to stop watching/listening to him because as a newer comic I’d bite his style/voice …hard. I still keep some Normisms with me (“good lord” for instance) and I’m sure there are more that I’m less aware of. He operated on a completely different wavelength than everyone else. A comedic renegade. That’s why he was always so memorable on his late night panel appearances, the Saget roast, his specials, his shows, his podcasts, or his book! —my word! (another Normism) —he was an unstoppable force and just plain fearless. No one has ever been funny like him and as a result he always stood out regardless if you’re a comedy obsessed weirdo like myself, or a person who just had the TV on “whatever” and Norm happened to be on because by this point he’d become ubiquitous. He was a true original and someone who understood his own role as a fully evolved comedian. He was a philosopher that communicated with the world through comedy using bullet proof logic. Norm was a living legend so I guess that just leaves him as a legend now. As a testament to his legacy Norm literally had a joke for everything, including his own circumstance that resulted in his departure from this state. We truly were blessed to have had him while we did and wherever he is I hope he’s at peace. Us mere mortals down here can at least take solace in the plethora of work he’s left behind for us to laugh/cry at.
Rest In Peace.
“I’m pretty sure, I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. That’s not a loss. That’s a draw.”
-Norm Macdonald
Comedy, I’m hooooooome!
A long and arduous post about my return to comedy after some time away.
For those of you that don’t know me, allow myself to reintroduce …myself. That’s a character I do called Austin Power-Z. It’s pronounced “Austin Powers” but just with a “Z.” …and the hyphen is to emphasize the Jay-Z reference…
Hi. I’m dumb!
Ok now that that’s settled let me explain. So for the better half of the past decade I’ve considered myself somewhat of an aspiring comedian. For a good consecutive 4 years I was doing stand up, hitting open mics, doing improv, attempting to write/film sketches, doing regular hosting gigs at mics and monthly shows. All this while managing a serious romantic relationship. Between all that, and a full time job (THAT I HATED) I eventually fizzled out.
It was back then during my comedy hay day that I picked up a camera (other than my iPhone) with any intent on being creative or artistic. —not that you can’t do that on an iPhone! —but let’s be serious: you can’t do a lot of stuff with an iPhone that you can do with a camera that can shoot on full manual. If you really wanted to compare, it’d be like a white woman, you simply just can’t even.
For any photography nuts/artists reading this and losing their shit, I get it, you actually can do a lot on a phone and they have great cameras blah blah fucking blah… yes. I know. But also, you know what I’m talking about too. Ehhhh?! <raises eyebrows>
I mean come on buddy. You know what I’m talking bout. Right?! <more eyebrows>
Ok I’m done caring about that.
So there I was about a year or so into standup and maybe 6 months into improv when I hilariously and I unironically thought “man I need to film my sets!” And from that point on I did film my sets. ALL OF THEM.
Every. Single. One.
At first it was with a point and shoot Olympus that I had bought a few years prior to take to Hawaii because it was a waterproof camera. Awesome for shooting underwater pictures but not great for video in dimly lit clubs where the audio is hugely important. The quality was very much 2009ish and this was 2015. Might not seem like a big deal but think about a 6 year technology gap now and it really puts it into perspective. It’d be like having an iPhone 7 now. Gross!
Anyway, it was time to upgrade and my older brother, who is an awesome photographer himself, recommended a DSLR as opposed to a camcorder which I was very familiar with from my skateboarding days a decade and a half earlier. —I’m 35 if you’re curious.
I took his advice went to Best Buy, told the dude “I need a camera and I have ≈$1,000 budget, what should I get?” He said he’d put me in a Sony a6000 with two lenses, a bag, and even offered to tie it to the roof for me. I was sold.
At the time I had no idea what the difference was between a mirrorless or DSLR. I didn’t care I was just excited to have a new camera that I could use for my comedy.
I drove home happy and did what I’d always done when I got a new camera. Immediately take uninspired pictures of stupid shit around the immediate spot where I had just unboxed the camera including and very much limited to the camera box and bag, and my living room. Shooting on full auto mode thinking to myself “yeah this feels like it’s got some good… ummmm… power? —yeah power!”
Eventually I’d show my brother the camera and he’d tell me “That’s awesome man. Here read this,” and handed me a really simplified book/pamphlet explaining the basic principles of the exposure triangle (camera stuff). It was completely liberating.
For decades I had been very intimidated by a full manual camera but after quickly going through the pamphlet and getting a grasp on some of the basics it started making sense and became way less intimidating. Shortly after, my GF at the time and my mom both got me a few books as part of my Christmas gifts and from that point on I was hooked. I read dozens of photography instructional books, started buying/subscribing to online courses, taking classes at a JC close by. I was hooked on learning. …and gear just a lil bit if I’m being honest.
So all the while, I was using the camera for the intended purpose of filming my sets, but also I was doing way more with it. I was learning how to take photos and I was shooting often. Like ALL THE TIME often. I would annoy the shit out of all the other comics but that was kinda just part of my persona and they eventually grew to accept it. Despite the acceptance like the heart of the ocean, the ridicule would go on. Sometimes they’d take a break from ball busting and even pose for me though so that was nice. I’d fuck up the pictures a lot though especially early on when I was still learning the basics. Eventually I’d get pretty ok and other comics would ask me to shoot shows. At the time I didn’t take the time to process and think about what I wanted to do photographically because I didn’t see myself as a photographer but I did know that I liked the “candid” shots of the comics the best.
I carried on like this for years and then when I finally realized how unhappy I was at my work I realized I needed to get out of my soul sucking industry (tax accounting) much sooner than my comedy/writing “career” would allow for. So I shelved comedy to focus (pun intended!) on getting a photography business going.
I had done some research and some trial by fire stuff and quickly realized I didn’t really want to do family portraits or weddings which are really the main money makers in commercial photography. Especially if you’re just getting started. Eventually I’d find family photojournalism and pursue that hard. It was the least cringy type of commercial photography and you can make great money. To be honest it’s not really cringy at all. It’s a total niche but as far as family photography goes, it’s excellent.
I was all set to completely transition out of accounting and into my commercial photography business full time after the April 2020 tax season. I even had a couple clients lined up for after the deadline. One small hiccup though: a global pandemic happened.
Devastated to lose track of my dream and wake up amid the nightmare that was unraveling all around the world I stayed at my accounting job totally depressed. Luckily after a couple months I was eventually mercy fired by my boss and that was the freedom I needed. I’d spend the summer and my unemployment checks chasing history. I was shooting every BLM event I could find. I was shooting/witnessing history. It was invigorating.
I took a self funded trip up to Portland to witness the federal police riots taking place up there. Then I found my indigenous friends protesting the border wall construction just a little east of my home in SD. Then I’d swing by a trump supporter rally. Then I’d swing by a white nationalist rally/Antifa-counter protest where there were constant skirmishes involving fists, bats, and pepper spray. One of the skinheads even pulled a hunting knife just after being maced and thankfully decided he didn’t want to kill someone that day. But to me it all became too much. Not to mention my attempts at picking up photojournalism work or getting into the newsroom at the local paper had failed.
Either way I had watched the protest scene go from a broad support, peace and love movement, to two small groups bent on violence and as a pacifist it just took too much of a toll on my heart. I had to take a step back.
Meanwhile, since the pandemic started I had put together a support group consisting of some of my best friends that I’d made through comedy and we’d hang out on Zoom every Tuesday night sometimes into the wee hours of Wednesday’s. We’d talk about serious shit if we needed to but mostly we would just fart around and do bits just like in what’s known as “the hang,” which takes place in and around comedy clubs, shows, and open mics. At these places comedians hang out and speak in comedy the way only comedians can. By being funny, sharing jokes, challenging others’ opinions, busting each others’ balls —or clams!, etc.
It was totally therapeutic and exactly what I needed. Especially early on during the lockdown when my mental health was starting to really suffer. It not only helped me with my mental state but it also really started giving me the itch to get back on stage (when it would be safe to do so).
So after a long year of masks and lockdowns when I had finally been vaccinated I knew it was time for me to make my return to stand up and start back from square one. Only this time things would be different. I no longer cared about trying to get on shows. I didn’t care about starting from scratch. I just wanted to do bits and push limits on what I can do onstage. I didn’t give a shit about bombing or not either because I was only doing mics.
One thing I did care about though was documenting everything photographically. By this point I had to embraced the role of photographer and have figured out how I like to shoot and what subjects I like etc. Mainly I shoot people which is great because comedy is filled with people and a lot of them are also great characters (or at least working on becoming one).
For the longest time I saw photography and comedy as two separate parts of my being but it wasn’t until now that I realized there’s a lot of overlap. And actually the photography is actually my main purpose for my going out to the mics. As an added benefit when I’m onstage I don’t feel any pressure to have a good set. It’s been completely freeing and it’s been more fun than it’s ever been.
In the back of my mind I’m putting together an act and a way to tie everything together (comedy and photography), but for now it just feels great to be back and I’m enjoying the ride.
It’s only been a few months since I’ve been back and who knows if we’ll shut down again due to the variants and what not but either way here’s a taste of the work so far. Also, I will definitely be writing more about my experiences and observations being back in the scene, so this is just kind of an intro to my project titled Comedy I Love You.
Welp. Smell ya later! (still working on my blog sign off)
-Richard :)
Rumba Ketumba: the Music Project Begins
A post about the beginning of a documentary photography project centered on music —and there’s other cool stuff too! (Not really though).
I was at the Subaru dealership getting my car a long overdue oil change and servicing. Just sitting on the patio furniture, reading my book (Brandon Stanton's "Humans"), and listening to some music when my phone rang from a number that I didn't recognize.
-A little context: I subscribe to the idea that "things happen for a reason" or in a nutshell, the universe will present you with gifts if you're open, willing, and looking for them. This serves me well in my street photography and in life. Ok back to the story-
When I get a call from an unknown number it's usually pretty hit and miss. This day, I answered.
It was a musician (Stuart) that I had met maybe nine months ago when I was out on filming "man on the street" interviews all around town for a documentary project that I am currently working on. He was calling to see if I could film an upcoming show, but it was too short of notice and it didn't work out for that particular gig.
Unbeknownst to him, I had been contemplating "music" as a personal photo project for a couple months and I was feeling like this could be the universe speaking to me, so I asked if he'd want to set up a photo shoot down the line. To both of our excitement he was interested. So I ended the call feeling really connected with the universe and genuinely stoked about finding a natural starting point for my music project.
As I settled back into my surroundings I look past the coffee table, to the chair cater-corner to mine and see a man, maybe sixty, playing what looked like a green, toy, nylon string, guitar. Only he is not just playing it, he is playing the shit out of it! And singing too!
My headphones were still in but since I just got off a call there was nothing coming through. I listened surreptitiously as he shared a beautiful Latin tune. "What a talent" I thought. And what crazy timing after my "music project" just slapped me in the face out of nowhere!
After he finishes his song, I compliment his playing and singing and we get to talking.
He tells me he's rehearsing some songs for a weekend wedding gig he had a couple hours away in Palm Springs.
He told me how he lived in several Latin countries and how he'd been playing guitar for some time. He told me a great anecdote about how he met some of the Gypsy Kings, and an even more surreal story about how he randomly met Tony Bennett.
I told him a little about my past and my complete obsession with photography (The Sickness) and how I always carry a camera with me.
It was a great conversation with such a kind and open soul.
It wasn't too long until my car was ready so we swapped info and he told me he had a gig the following Thursday with a newly formed band.
I looked at his card, John "Juanito" Tidwell, gave the obligatory "nice to meet you" and told him I'd be there.
The gig was at Cafe Sevilla in the Gaslamp Quarter in Downtown San Diego. I'd never been before but the vibe was essentially everything that I imagined it would be. Upscale restaurant with a Latin theme and live Latin music.
I showed up a little too early so I spent a good couple of hours shooting some street photos around the downtown area and wandered back in time to meet Jaunito as he was the first one to arrive and begin setting up.
He tells me that there are three other band members and raves about how great they are. Having spent many days of the last week listening to some of Jaunito's albums from another band he plays with, I was not surprised. The guy is crazy talented and even though he may be one of the nicest people on the planet, I couldn't imagine him playing with bums.
The rest of the band popped in one by one and eventually they get set up and start playing. The first song is a slower one. It sounds great and the crowd seemed to dig it but on the following song they started playing some dance rhythms and you could feel the energy build in the room. It was electric.
Jaunito had told me this was the band's first time playing together and that they hadn't rehearsed at all, but they were clearly all strong enough musicians that it didn't matter at all. Not for a second.
Jaunito's eldest son, a musician himself, even sat in with the band for a song as he belted out the vocals in a very Mars Volta like wail. There's definitely something in the water at Jaunito's house!
All in all it was a great night. From the moment they started playing they were in the groove, having fun, and surfing that wave of energy that filled the room. It was magic.
It was magic, revealed to me by a chance encounter at a car dealership service center.
The universe is speaking to us all, we just have to listen.
If the universe sent YOU here, check out Jaunito's band Rumba Ketumba which are featured in the photos or his other band Malamana who has music on Spotify.
Thanks for reading,
-Richard :)
Hi my name is BLOG
An introduction of sorts.
For those of you that don’t know me too well yet I wanted to introduce this blog in a manner that I felt comfortable with, so this is that.
I would like you to understand that I AM AN ARTIST and I identify as both a photographer AND a comedian. —No this isn't a hackey conservative 'i IdEnTiFy As A _________' type of "joke" <eyeroll> —rather it's a dead-ass, sincere, clarification about who I am and what I am doing here in this blog/website, in my career, in my life.
This is important to me because the comedian side is much more apparent in my writing than it is in my photos and I don't want anything I do to take anyone by surprise or to open myself up to the asinine criticisms of "this is not _________" or "stick to _________."
I'm an artist and I refuse to be put into a box because of someone else's narrow views.
Anyway, to help clarify I have listed both what this blog is all about and what it’s not all about below.
What this blog is all about:
Whatever the fuck I want
What this blog is NOT all about:
Bullshit*
*unless I want to write about bullshit.
Ok. Maybe that was a tad facetious. But it’s coming from a real place.
I have a problem with a lot of "photographers" —and I was one of these for a while —which is that they blog about COMPLETE BULLSHIT. Whether it’s the “top 10 ways to de-stress your wedding day,” “3 tips for getting the best newborn photos,” or “fun ideas for a family photoshoot that everyone will enjoy!” <BARF> IT’S ALL HORSE SHIT! And it's not just the wedding and portrait photographers doing this shit you'll see fine art photographers blog about "the top 5 benefits of having art in your house" or whatever cookie cutter bullshit they're trying to shovel down your throat. It’s all straight marketing to get you to buy into a product or service. While it may be coming from real experience or maybe even a real desire to share information those types posts are ALWAYS meant as avenues to sell the reader something. They’re not real blogs.
In a way you could say I am trying to do exactly what they're doing because I'm trying to sell you on me, but also in so many ways I'm not doing aaaaaaanything link that. And to be fair, I'm actually not trying to sell you on me. My goal is to share all my different sides of my creativity and expression. If you happen find any of that relatable, enjoyable, insightful, helpful, etc. then THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME and I think you'll find a lot of stuff that you like here. And if you don't like my stuff that's ok too, I mean... you may want to start doing some brain exercises or schedule an appointment with a neurologist because it doesn't speak highly of your intellect, but it's still ok! <--[THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF MY HUMOUR]
So if you do support me in any way whether its appreciating my writing/photos, or buying every print, book, or film project that I produce please know that I am truly thankful to have your support. As someone who didn't come from money I understand that it is important for me to make a living, but I also want to be able to share my work with folks who might not have the means to buy my art. So that's a big reason that I have this blog.
All in all, I created this blog to be a place where I can share photos, maybe with a fun anecdote or some kind of backstory on how they came about AND at the same time I want it to be a place where I can share my thoughts and opinions on anything and everything. From the political turmoil that we are currently suffering through as a nation, to the fact that not enough people know about the Showtime series "Episodes" starring Matt LeBlanc which is one of the funniest shows ever written. Essentially, it's a place for me to share any form of artistic expression that can fit on this 2 dimensional plane that you're currently looking at.
So if you're only here for a certain type of art, there will be plenty of that for you and for the shit you don't like you can scroll on by, but I will say this: IF you’re a fan of at least one of my artistic expressions, there's a good chance you'd probably like the other stuff too. I'm just saying...
In conclusion, I dunno if that was clear AT ALL or if this is useful to anyone other than myself, but that's pretty much what this is and will be. If there's a change to my approach I'll let you know.
Either way thanks for taking the time to read my bullshit.
-Richard :)
P.S. Please enjoy these images from my portfolio at the time this was originally published.
