Día de los Muertos
Growing up I was not really immersed in the culture of my ancestors. While the adults in my life always called me and my cousins "mijo" and "mija," aside from that most of us weren't really in touch with our heritage. I didn't and still don't speak Spanish (1) and am what's known as "whitewashed." So much so that years ago my cousins, my brother, and I all stated calling each other "mijo" and "mija" as a bit of a goof. Personally I didn't even start eating Mexican food until high school! I know. I know... It's very regrettable but it is what it is.
At a young age my mom moved me and my older brother to one of the whitest, most conservative cities in San Diego County, in search of better schools and hopefully a better life than could have been provided in the neighborhood where we lived up until that point. Not speaking the language or being in touch with my roots made it easy for me to acclimate to the prevailing cultures of the scenes where I spent my time but it also meant that my roots or my connection to them faded just as easily.
I accept that I cannot change the past, and I am thankful to be where I am today, but accepting my lineage has been a long and slow process. One hindered by my inherited self-loathing/identity issues, the non-acceptance in the culture that I grew up in, and the general unconsciousness that I used to call my life. Growing older and seeking a spiritual awakening has allowed me to open up in ways that I never would have dreamed of in the past. I am constantly working to get more connected to the universe and a big part of that for me is to seek out more information about my roots on both my Mexican side and my Filipino side (2).
After hearing about one of my photography instructors' personal project where they interviewed their grandma and went through her photos, I began recreated the project with my Grams who is also my last living grand parent. We looked at her pictures, talked about where she grew up in Mexico, and she'd tell me the stories that shaped her as a person. It not only helped color my understanding of my Grams, but it also helped color my understanding of me. This is just one example of something I've done to start learning more about my people.
Sometimes I'm lucky enough to stumble into links to my culture through a popular band like The Mars Volta, or a TV show like Narcos (3), or in the case of Día de los Muertos through a movie suggestion from my girlfriend. Weirdly, I LOVE animation (4) and have seen most of the Disney and Pixar movies, but I hadn't seen the movie she suggested, Coco. It's actually not that weird at all though when you recall that I mentioned my inherited self-loathing and the reinforcement of those beliefs was fostered throughout my adolescence by the place I called home. That all made me very averse to anything “too Mexican," including even a Pixar movie which I'm essentially guaranteed to love on account of me loving animation and Pixar being the absolute best at that.
After watching the movie, which of course I loved, I was very excited. While I had long since given up on the Catholic Church (5) to eventually arrive at an agnostic/universal oneness approach to God or spirituality, the idea of Día de los Muertos did not really conflict with my new ideology. Regardless of if it did or not, after learning about the holiday (6) I was able to view it for the beautiful tradition that it is. One that comes from MY PEOPLE no less! Having seen Coco/learned about the meaning of Día de los Muertos only THIS YEAR made me very interested to learn more and how it related to my family.
The next chance I got I asked my mom if her side of the family ever celebrated the holiday to which she responded with a very unsatisfying "no" and a "I'm not sure" when I asked if she knew why. Then when I saw my Grams I asked her the same questions (she's my Dad's mother) and she more or less told me "No. Not really," but then elaborated that where she grew up in Mexico (7) it's at a higher elevation and so by November it was already way too cold for any prolonged outdoor celebration. So they made ofrendas and had some small ceremonies but essentially just quickly visited grave sites and then ran back in to the warmth of a fireplace or a stove. Now that was a satisfying "not really like they do in Mexico City."
After learning about this tradition and the virtual nonobservance in my family I became interested in seeing what the observations looked like in my hometown of San Diego, and that's how I found myself in the historic Old Town district on Día de los Muertos proper, November 2nd, which by the way also happens to be my birthday. How about that for a plot twist?! A Mexican-American man (8) born on Día de los Muertos who only learned about the holiday at 36 years old. Ay, DiOs Mío!
So with my camera in tow, and a GoPro fixed to it, I set out to shoot a POV (Point of View) street photography video of the celebration and parade. My interpretation of what was going on was that it was pretty much a normal Old Town scene; plenty of restaurants serving Mexican food; a good amount of live performances of Latin music; a marketplace with with a bunch of trinkets, traditional Mexican items like blankets and ponchos, and also a plethora of dumb bullshit like novelty t-shirts. The biggest differences between this Tuesday and any given Saturday in Old Town was that there were a number of big ofrendas setup throughout the district which takes up a couple of blocks, there was tons of face painting, and there was in fact a parade/ Procesión to the Cemetery performed by Latinx folks in traditional costumes. Additionally, there was a really great mariachi band that followed the Procesión, which was probably my favorite part of the evening.
All in all it was a solid day out and a fun event to shoot for sure. If you haven't been before and you live in San Diego it's worth checking out. One thing it did for me was make me thirsty for my new bucket list item: to see the Día de los Muertos celebrations in Mexico City.
Welp. That's pretty much it. Thanks for reading and if you haven't already, go watch Coco —after you watch my video and subscribe to my YouTube channel of course!
(1) I do try but I learned in high school and college with a 4 year break during my army years and I have never really been conversational.
(2) I have like ≈10% or something like that in my blood.
(3) Maybe not the most positive example...
(4) I studied animation for all 4 years in high school.
(5) I gave up on the institution of Catholocism, not necessarily the teachings of Jesus. An institution that condones covers up evil and rules through fear is one that I could no longer support but as the Doobie Brothers once said, "Jesus is just alright with me."
(6) In a nutshell Dia De Los Muertos a.k.a. The Day of the Dead is a joyous holiday which originated in Mexico. It is typically celebrated on November 1st and 2nd were family's make ofrendas/offerings to their deceased loved ones and share stories and photos to keep their memories/spirits alive.
(7) I think Chihuahua, but I could be fucking that up.
(8) Humour me (9).
(9) The British spelling of words is my favourite.
