May 23 Update
Richard gives a written and visual life update from May 23.
Hello friends,
[For everyone:] How are you doing? [For the San Diego locals:] Is the cold June weather freaking you out? [For your parents:] Can you believe half the year has passed by already? [For my woke friends:] Did you have a good Juneteenth? [For Brad:] Did Jeff ever give you the fifty bucks back that you lent him back in January?
I realize I’m VERY late to getting to my blog/newsletter/slideshow this month which is annoying and I do apologize because I’m really trying to establish good habits and consistency with these posts BUT at the same time I’m also I have to hide behind my first-time-foster-parent card again because we had some unexpected events and ended up having to write up lengthy incident reports while we’re supposed to be on vacation. I’ve learned in foster life things don’t always go as expected and I just have to play the ball as it lays. Things with fostering/Wolfy are looking pretty grim as Erin, Wolfy, and myself are continually reminded just how broken the system is. To put it plainly: it’s sickening how harmful the system is to the kids in it. A common thread we’ve found is a lot of people working in the system have shortages in the spine department and therefore kids are needlessly put in harm’s way. —aaaaanyway I have to change gears otherwise I’ll go on a diatribe/write myself into the fetal position so…
Photographically May (and I guess most of June too) has been a great time for me. I linked up with a musician’s jam based around the same crew I ran into at the skate park a few months back and I made it out to shoot with them a couple times now and I plan to shoot with them more throughout the summer. Such a talented group and so fun rockin’ with them. Also been continuing work on my captivity project though I didn’t have it reviewed yet as I’d hoped for but I think I might have time to make that happen pretty soon so I’m not sweating it too much. All that and I’ve been making my appearances at a lot of artist talks, I’ve gone on a couple photo walks with the SD Walkabouts crew met some new like minded friends, I also met up with some of my new friends from Medium Photo for an informal coffee and catch up event, and I just went to the MCASD (La Jolla) with my family this weekend for Father’s Day. Needless to say my art cup is quite full at the moment which is nice.
In addition to shooting a lot this month and filling my art cup I’ve also got a lot of shows on the horizon which is pretty exciting to look forward to. I’ll be doing a one day show with ArtWalk at Liberty Station on 7/7/23 (Friday) for their Summer Series and then in August I have my first Walk In Art event in Hillcrest on 8/3. The Walk In Art events take place the first Thursday of each month and I’ve committed to doing August, September, and October so far. Right after my first Walk in Art I have the ArtWalk @ Liberty Station which is on 8/5-8/6 BUT this year they’re adding a Preview pARTy which is a ticketed event on the Friday before 8/4 so it’s a little more exclusive but also very exciting. If you’re interested in attending I have a few comped tickets so DM me or shoot me an email.
Then right after that four-day run of working my booth (8/3 - 8/6) I’m off to Boston and NJ for two weeks with Erin and hopefully Wolfy. We’re even doing a quick 2 day stop in NY on the tail end which is really exciting as I’ve never been and you know, street photography Mecca and what not.
For the record: The pictures/slideshow are only from May so even though this blog covers may and most of June. For June photos you’ll just have to wait until next month’s slideshow in a couple weeks.
Alright, that is it. I love you all. Thanks to everyone who supports me. If you are interested in buying prints or postcards you can do it here, and if you want to send me some love you can do it in the comments or at richard@ricpics.me.
Be well,
Richard :)
April 23 Update
Richard gives a written and visual life update from April 23.
Hello my friends,
Man what a month it has been. For the regulars it might seem like I’d only just wrote a journal entry, and THAT is because well… I really just did. But I’m trying to get back on my more timely schedule but we’ll see how this goes. I still have to do my photos and slideshow as I’m writing this but there’s no grant application or photo festival in my way this time so we’ll see.
Anywho, personal life has been in a bit of a tough patch with everything going on with our foster kiddo (court and other related stress), funny that my photography from winter lined up so nicely with my self diagnosed circumstantial depression/funk that I have been in. Synchronicities man… take em however you like [or not]. This month has been more of the same although I am putting more effort into my self-care —which TBH is already pretty strong so don’t cry for me [Argentina].
Last month was a bit of a grind in photo related activities, the Medium Photo Festival which is primarily lectures and artistic talks and what not, writing a grant application, and just this past weekend I had an ArtWalk event (art fair) in Little Italy so the last couple of weeks have been a lot of framing and prepping for that show. So busy busy busy but admittedly not a ton of shooting itself in April which was unfortunate as shooting is one of my main forms of self-care. So that is what excites me about this month. Nothing on the calendar other than me and the camera(s) getting some steps, getting some hours, and getting to work.
As far as the ArtWalk event this past weekend, man I’m at a loss for words. It was another successful show on so many levels that it caught me right in the feels (again). It must be something about the Little Italy shows. To everyone who came out and bought prints or postcards and helped put fuel in the tank: THANK YOU! To everyone who came through to chat about my work, or photography, or gave any kind of positive energy, hot tips, and exhibition opportunities: THANK YOU! To my family that came through and my friend Kern, I love you all. THANK YOU! To ArtWalk for putting on a great event: THANK YOU! And to everyone else who helped make this weekend a success: THANK YOU!
Those show weekends are always all the things, nerve racking (am I going to make sales?), exhilarating (any time I make a sale), reassuring (anytime someone gives me a compliment or makes a comment to let me know they get me), hilarious (all the awkward encounters with fair attendees that visit my booth but aren’t interested AT ALL in my work, or the people who also don’t give a shit about my work but want to talk my ear off about whatever (usually their dog or something)), unexpected (meeting fellow artists, art lovers, and rad people I never know what to expect but I’m always pleasantly surprised), exhausting (prep, setup, being “on” for 8 hours straight 2 days in a row, then break down). Overall I feel that they are overall very positive for me, but still, they are A LOT.
After visiting my chiropractor and getting in some good naps on Monday and Tuesday I’m finally coming down from this weekend and it’s freeing me up to think about what I want to work on this month. I’ve had a captivity/zoo/aquarium animal project that I’ve been working on. Some of the shots have been making their way into my recent newsletters, blog posts, and Instagram feed. Anyway, I put together a rough cut of the project for a friend who wrote me a letter of recommendation for my grant application, but I think it would be helpful to get some feedback on that project from a trusted reviewer and I have someone in mind so hopefully I can get that in the works for this month.
Nothing else really of note. I have started reading Keith Harring’s Journals and I love it. It’s incredible how knowledgeable he was at such a young age. Sometimes when I read his thoughts it makes me feel like an idiot for being 37 and just starting to develop that type of an understanding of the world but mostly it just makes me feel like I’m on the right path. Like “oh he had that shit figured out right before he was blowing up. Yup gotta stay true to myself and keep moving forward. Things are gonna happen for me. I’m Joe Dirt!”
Also, his journal does make me want to start doing some more intermittent journaling (as opposed to just these monthly posts) because it just feels like a more useful exercise than trying to sum up a whole month in one post. I dunno though, we’ll see. I also don’t want to spread myself too thin because I also took a hit on my work time available since we have Wolfy every day during the week now whereas Tuesdays and Thursdays I used to be able to work until 5-5:30pm I now can only work until 3pm on Tuesdays and 12:30pm on Thursdays without working something out with Erin (I know!). Not complaining but time management is everything and losing 7.5 hours of work per week is significant and I’m trying to get adjusted to this new schedule.
Anyway, I should get back to my computer and work on my pictures/this month’s slideshow because I haven’t gone through any of that yet! (Shhh).
Alright, love you all. Thanks to everyone who supports me. If you are interested in buying prints or postcards you can do it here, and if you want to send me some love you can do it in the comments or here richard@ricpics.me.
Be well,
Richard :)
P.S. Slideshow and Gallery below. Just remember it was a light month so there’s admittedly not many bangers in there. What can you do, ya know?
March 23 Update
Richard gives a life a written and visual life update from March 23.
Hi friends,
If you’re coming from my newsletter, you know the past few weeks put me through a bit of a ringer. If you’re not coming from my newsletter: Welcome. And to catch you up the past few weeks have put me through a bit of a ringer. Boom. All caught up—but also, WHY ARE YOU NOT SUBSCRIBED TO MY NEWSLETTER?! DO YOU NOT LIKE CHANCES TO WIN FREE PRINTS?! DO YOU WANT ME TO BE YELLING AT YOU TO SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER?! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!?!?
Just Joshin ya. Live your life how you want to, boo. #nohardfeelings
Anywho, like any other month when you’re a first time parent/emerging artist, this past month [and a half] was a busy one but on top of that it felt like it was exceptionally busy for a number of reasons. Erin’s (1) birthday was in March so there were lots of projects and planning that had to go into that. A couple birthday projects were collabs between me and Wolfy (2) which I was very excited about. Also, in March we had a parent teacher conference, one of my niece’s birthdays, and COURT (TWO TIMES!) which is always nerve racking.
We had a small victory during the hearing in early March but by now we’ve learned to really measure our responses because with every step forward something behind the scenes happens and it’s like 10 steps backwards and it can really fuck us up emotionally. This last month and a half has been no different in that regard. As a bonus we had a special court hearing AGAIN this past Monday (#toosoon) and there weren’t many silver linings that time. No matter how much you learn about how broken the foster system is, nothing can fully prepare you for the experience of witnessing its failures first hand and loving someone who it is failing and feeling powerless to help them.
Self care. Grace. Trusting the process. Self care.
Things this past month and a half weren’t all bleak though. I did have a number of distractions in addition to birthdays and family stuff, namely attending many of the Medium Photo Photography Festival events which ran from April 1-16. I participated in a community pop-up sale where I was happy to slang postcards and prints and meet and connect with an awesome group of photographers, artists, creatives, and aficionados. Most of the other events I attended at the festival were artist talks, gallery openings, and seminars on subjects that I’m highly interested in (e.g. book publishing). It was A LOT and it was fucking awesome. I had such a great time connecting with my people (artist/photographers) and as they say in France: I learned a shit ton.
After two weeks of the Medium Photo Festival I was absolutely wiped but the show had to go on and I spent much of last week completing a grant application before I was able to finally take a breather. That leaves me in the present where I am trying to finish getting these posts up (I'm only 20 days behind schedule...) and I'm starting to get prepared for my upcoming ArtWalk event in little italy (April 29-30). If you're a local and you want to come pick up some prints, postcards, or just say what's up and check out the scene I highly recommend it. I'll be in booth 522 on Date St. Come through!
So this is my first public journaling that I am sharing on my website/blog. Previously I had done it on my FB (during the first 100 days or so of COVID), and in my newsletter for the past few months, but this feels like right the place. The goal is to write at least one monthly journaling post where I’ll also include photos taken during that month in both a slideshow format (via YouTube) and in an online gallery format for those who want to take their time with any of the photos as the slideshows will go by pretty quickly.
You can check out this month’s slideshow below or this month’s gallery even more below.
Thanks for reading and I hope you are all taking care of yourselves.
Be well,
Richard :)
P.S. You may notice the pictures I show don't always coincide with the words I write and this is for two reasons. A) The photos I post on these monthly journal entries are essentially a separate visual journal. A window into my life. Some things I can show, others I cant (see note 2 below) but in either case B) I generally believe that the viewer is intelligent enough to make sense of the photos on their own without me spelling it out for them. That said, if there ever are any questions as to what's going on in any of the pictures you can always ask. Preferably in the comments below but also, you can DM me on Insta or shoot me an email.
Notes:
(1) Erin is my better half. The love of my life. My partner. My world.
(2) Wolfy is the name I use to speak about Erin and I's foster child. There are a lot of rules about not sharing info publicly due to her being in the foster system so I use this code name and shy away from details about her and her story (that latter more out of respect to her than the rules of the foster system FWIW). She is the second love of my life, the best fucking kid in the world, and Erin and I are hopeful that she will become a permanent member of our family at some point in the future, hence all the court talk.
The Return of the Music Project
While out on a leisurely feral cat/bird watching outing I unexpectedly stumbled upon a birthday jam session that blew me away.
This past Saturday, our foster daughter, Wolfy (1) had a sleepover and so Erin and I had a little more “us time” than usual. As we like to do we went on a nice long walk around our neighborhood in Ocean Beach. We were walking toward the jetty to go visit the feral cat colony and do some light birding (#alwaysbebirding) as per the usual. As we approached the skate park (which is on the way) we could hear some loud music being played (mostly drums). We weren’t sure if it was a drum circle or what but it did sound a little more complex than your run of the mill OB drum circle (no offense), and those usually take place about a mile or so away over by Newport so I was a little confused, but either way the rhythm had me hooked.
As we got to the outside of the skate park we could tell there was what seemed like some kind of a jam going on inside. Erin could tell she’d be a little overwhelmed/uncomfortable if we went in together and offered to chill outside the skate park for a little while I went into the park and checked out the scene and shot a little. (2) So I confirmed she was cool (3), set a timer for 10 minutes, and went inside to check out the scene.
Walking up I saw there were two drummers both rocking full kits, a bass player keeping it funky, and a young dude getting jiggy wit it on the keyboard as another dude tickled the keys a little over his shoulder. There were some balloons and a handmade sign showing that it was someone’s birthday but I didn’t focus on that too much because my time was too tight and the music was too intoxicating. It was a rad scene to pull up into and I wanted to maximize on the experience.
Because I was on a time crunch I didn’t have much time to hesitate so after my quick assessment I started working the scene. I started wide shooting the whole scene and pretty quickly some of the musicians noticed me. I started locking in on them as they played and it became a clear give and take where the musician I was focused on would start what can only be described as: “fuckin’ playin’ that thang.” I shifted my way around the circle going from musician to musician as they took turns ripping it up. I felt like a director as I tried my best to make some quick portraits in my short window. I was using a compact camera which allowed me to really be able to get close and play with my compositions. The musicians “going off” really was an incredible energy exchange and a fun impromptu collaboration that made the photos. I could not have had more fun in that moment.
My time ran up much quicker than I would have liked but I was happy to have had that experience. I left my card [and no money](SORRY!) in a tip jar looking thing in the hopes that someone would reach out and eventually I connected with the birthday boy himself on insta. After connecting with him online I learned this was a jam/drum battle a.k.a. a “drum shed” that was organized for his birthday. After seeing some of the videos on his insta I realized I didn’t get ANY shots of him because he was not playing while I was there shooting (D’oh!). At any rate I had a blast and am just so thankful that all the musicians were so generous with their talent and their space. It also makes me super thankful to live in an area where there is real ass art and creativity all the time. I hope my pictures do “the shed” some justice and please go check the birthday boy (@john_mdrums) out on insta and his band Sweet Myths also on insta. They have an upcoming show on April 27th at The Holding Company in OB so check that if you can and aside from all that ummmm… remember to always keep it funky I guess.
I dunno.
I love you.
Bye.
-Richard :)
(1) Not her real name but also if you want to keep up with me subscribe to my newsletter.
(2) How fucking awesome is she?
(3) She was.
The photo that changed my life
A blog post about how a single Martin Parr photograph set me onto my journey as a photographer/artist.
ITALY. Rome. Colosseum. Statues and tourists at the Colosseum. 1993. © Martin Parr/Magnum Photos
I like to imagine that in every artist's life there's a piece of art, in their medium, that they just CONNECT with and it sets them on their journey to become who they are as an artist. I'm certain this is not the case for every artist and it's probably a total oversimplification bordering on an idealistic way at looking at the world, but I guess that's just how my brain works #sorrynotsorry.
I delight in wondering what was the album (or song) that made Thom Yorke want to pursue music. What was the film that made Tarantino want to make movies, what was the painting that made Warhol want to pick up the brush? Would there be satisfying answer for each? I'm certain Tarantino has the film as his work is very referential and he often speaks of how he is paying homage with specific shots, scenes, etc. and he's also very open about his love for cinema so for him I think it's just my laziness that's stopping me from knowing that specific answer(1) but I have no idea if Thom Yorke would have an album that inspired him to become a musician because he seems like he could have just as easily been inspired by an obscure work of art that has nothing to do with music, or a process such as photosynthesis, or even something along the lines of "the overwhelming helplessness associated with people's unconscious and relenting desire to ensure suffering perpetuates." For the record those are not actual Thom Yorke references or inspirations, it's just crude interpretations of things that I could imagine him being inspired by as an artist.
Humourous aside: How funny would it be if I had a chance to ask Thom and he dead ass answered "Whitesnake - Here I go again. Hands down. Brilliant."
<waves of laughter>
Oh we do have fun!
I do get I can be kind of a snob at times (2) when it comes to art and entertainment or anything really but having that awareness of myself and my snobbery doesn't take away from my belief that —at least in my mind —artists like Andy Warhol or Thom Yorke would have to be inspired by something much deeper than something akin to a Whitesnake song, as popular as it might have been (3) and I'm just curious as to what that might have been for them.
For me, I have grown to see myself become a sponge, soaking up my favorite traits, mannerisms, and ways of thinking and doing from everyone who came before me in virtually every aspect of life. I first noticed this with artists who work in mediums that I have practiced in, but eventually learned about the crossover (4) and now basically I take from anyone and everyone. I'm inspired by all kinds of people; musicians, comedians, philosophers, poets, writers, painters, animators, filmmakers, chefs, parents, teachers, scientists, naturalists, conservationists, activists, public servants. I could keep going... health care providers, entrepreneurs, inventors, athletes, philanthropists, care givers, etc. I am inspired by so many different kinds of folks because I subscribe to the personal philosophy of "Always be learning" and I believe that anyone can be a teacher as long as you (me) are always willing to learn. As a practicing life artist and I’ll take valuable lessons from just about anyone, BUUUUUUUT if me/my work had to be distilled down to just one medium right now that'd have to be photography (5)(6)(7). And fortunately, with respect to photography I do have THE picture that… well,,, changed my life really, and I am incredibly thankful for my photography professor and friend Amy Caterina, for first sharing it with me.
The photo I'm thinking of is the Martin Parr photograph shown above (and also found on Page 12 of Mr. Parr’s book Small World) and I’m gonna talk about it for a bit. The photo is a colour photo and filling out most of the frame in the center of the photo shown in soft focus (but not too soft) is a group of around 30-40 retirement aged tourists gazing up at something. Behind them and to the sides you can see some of the ancient architecture that has been preserved around the Colosseum, giving some sense of the place —also in soft focus. Lastly, in the foreground, shown in the bottom of the frame there are a couple dozen souvenir statues of Roman gods and goddesses, Michelangelo's David, etc. in sharp focus giving a humorous juxtaposition against the silver-haired group that stands behind them. That's the basic reading of this photo "oh what a funny comparison, the statue of David, compared to David Longbottom the retired plumber from Liverpool. What a laugh!" and to anyone's credit who sees that interpretation, good on you because I've also seen people miss it completely and it's quite embarrassing. "So it's like a tour group or something???" It's sad really but not surprising that our society isn't taught to critically think or even look, let alone study art. Either that or we’ve grown so accustomed to our fast-paced lifestyles that we don’t allow ourselves the time to make meaningful connections when we’re seeing art. Realistically probably a bit of both. We’re dumb in a hurry! We want stuff to be explained to us so we don't have to think about it. We want shit jammed down our throats while people (also without taste) assure us it’s good. Our consumption of art is basically at crisis level: Jello-shot. It's how this picture came to exist in the first place (8) but I digress...
When I first saw the photo, I immediately got the juxtaposition and the comedian in me (9) really appreciated it because photography, or should I say good photography was still very new to me at the time when I first saw this photo. So seeing humour in a photo was a revelation. Beyond that I saw that there was still more meat on the bone. In fact, I felt it. I saw people as we are, compared to our own idealistic versions of ourselves. We like to imagine ourselves as these fit, godlike, beings, mastering the universe but the reality is we are doughy, prisoners to our own stupidity and greed. Not allowed to thrive when we are in our primes because we have manufactured ourselves to be slaves to capitalism. We are supposed to be exploring, engaging, and experiencing the natural world as we are in our physical peaks like those figures in the statues, yet most working-class folks do not get to have an opportunity to do anything remotely close until they reach the age of 65 if they’re lucky.
I'd never seen anything like this in a photograph —and I’d seen some real as the kids say “bangers” too, but I’d never seen something like a societal critique so damningly portrayed in a single frame like that. A photo that has a meaningful message that doesn't trigger a trauma reaction -AAAAND it's humourous. I didn't know photography could do those things, so short of listening to "The Power of Now" seeing this photo for the first time might have been the most liberating experience of my entire life.
For me this photo was a call to action. The wakeup call I needed. The cautionary tale. I could follow my dreams, become the photographer behind the lens, and see the world NOW; or I could continue on the path I was on as a CPA, gaming the system doing taxes for the rich and become one of the faceless people in photo. Trapped working against my own interests until I'm too old to do anything outside the supervision of a tour guide, unaware of the potential that I'd let slip between my fingers like the grains of the hour glass. Fortunately, I have answered the call and have decided to "Get busy living, or get busy dying." (10)
At this point in my career I'm what's commonly referred to as "poor as fuck,” (11) I'm virtually unknown, BUT I'm also the happiest I've ever been. It's the first time in my life that I can honestly say I'm living with any kind of intention. This is in contrast to the past when I'd always felt like my life was on some kind of autopilot. My life now feels like a new level of vibrance (12) and it's a feeling that I don't know I'd ever felt before. Maybe as a kid but even then, I'm not sure. It's a lightness, like I'm on shrooms constantly (13). It's crazy. And to think for me that all started with seeing THIS one photo.
Again major thanks to Amy Caterina for giving me the red pill and showing me this photo #YouMyMorpheus, and of course to Mr. Parr if he were ever to see this: my abilities both with the pen and behind the lens are far too inadequate to fully articulate how much this photo/your work has meant to me but I am hopeful that this post is a start to me expressing that gratitude and it is my greatest hope that one day my work can inspire a generation behind me in the way that yours has (and still does) for me. Thank you.
If you enjoyed my writing or my photos below (inspired by Martin Parr) and would like to read/see more the best way to do so is by subscribing to my newsletter (if you’re nasty). In my newsletter you’ll get regular updates on projects, shows, life updates, recent photos, etc. and of course more of my hilarious, thought-provoking, and definitely not meandering writing.
Also, feel free to noodle around on my site, look through my projects, blog, and print store if you’d like to purchase a limited-edition print or even a postcard. Anything helps (I’m broke AF!!!) and if you want to reach me, shoot me a DM on insta.
(1) Although if I'm being honest I sometimes like not knowing. You can find this in some of my work even. Not knowing makes for better mental stimulation. It's why I like Radiohead.
(2) This on account of I'm a GIIIINORMOUS snob.
(3) Whitesnake's "Here I go again" reached #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100 list at its peak position in 1987 and was #7 on the year-end chart for 1987.
(4) I’ve found that it is important for me as an artist to seek out and really take in work outside of photography. It can be just as important as being immersed in photography itself.
(5) Something about me and photography just "clicked."
(6) When I was given the opportunity to follow my dreams and become a photographer I knew I had to give it a "shot."
(7) Honestly, I couldn't "picture" doing anything else with my life.
(8) Our inability to think for ourselves is exactly why tour groups exist. We travel in ways where we want to be shepherded around and shown what to look at and told what to enjoy and since the creation of Mr. Parr’s book, Small Wonder, mindless tourism/consumerism has only gotten worse.
(9) I'm sure you tell from my hilarious writing that I've bombed multiple hundreds of times on stage as an open mic comedian. I think it shows. It shows right? Hello?!
(10) Those of you cinephiles who love the talkies as much as I do will know the quote.
(11) This is mostly for humourous effect I'm ok.
(12) I’m talking +15 levels of vibrance here, people!
(13) I mean this in the best way.
Some of my more Martin Parr-ish photos:
Stop the presses! I was on a Podcast!
I was on a podcast and the world needs to know about it!
Hi Friends,
Just wanted to give a quick update in case you aren't following me on insta —wait! YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING ME ON INSTA?!
Ok never mind that, but if you’d like to check me out it’s @ricpics.me on “the gram.”
Sorry that made me cringe too.
me when I use slang:
…aaaaaaanyway, I just wanted to give y’all an update and say that I was recently featured on my fellow comedian, podcaster, and good friend Dan Bublitz Jr’s new podcast, Submerged with Dan Bublitz Jr.
It’s a show where Dan interviews guests about their obsessions/passions and since he had me on we talked all about street photography!
I had a great time doing the show so please give the episode a listen if you’d like to hear more about my take on street photography, and just learn a little more about me. 🙂 If you like the show please give Dan a subscribe and check out the other episodes!
You can listen to my episode using the embedded player below, clicking THIS LINK or by searching for “Submerged with Dan Bublitz” on your preferred podcast app (itunes, spotify, etc.).
Ok just wanted to share the good news and that’s pretty much it for now.
Be well,
Richard
Día de los Muertos
A post and video about street photographer Richard Provencio and his experience shooting a Dia de los Muertos celebration in Old Town, San Diego.
Growing up I was not really immersed in the culture of my ancestors. While the adults in my life always called me and my cousins "mijo" and "mija," aside from that most of us weren't really in touch with our heritage. I didn't and still don't speak Spanish (1) and am what's known as "whitewashed." So much so that years ago my cousins, my brother, and I all stated calling each other "mijo" and "mija" as a bit of a goof. Personally I didn't even start eating Mexican food until high school! I know. I know... It's very regrettable but it is what it is.
At a young age my mom moved me and my older brother to one of the whitest, most conservative cities in San Diego County, in search of better schools and hopefully a better life than could have been provided in the neighborhood where we lived up until that point. Not speaking the language or being in touch with my roots made it easy for me to acclimate to the prevailing cultures of the scenes where I spent my time but it also meant that my roots or my connection to them faded just as easily.
I accept that I cannot change the past, and I am thankful to be where I am today, but accepting my lineage has been a long and slow process. One hindered by my inherited self-loathing/identity issues, the non-acceptance in the culture that I grew up in, and the general unconsciousness that I used to call my life. Growing older and seeking a spiritual awakening has allowed me to open up in ways that I never would have dreamed of in the past. I am constantly working to get more connected to the universe and a big part of that for me is to seek out more information about my roots on both my Mexican side and my Filipino side (2).
After hearing about one of my photography instructors' personal project where they interviewed their grandma and went through her photos, I began recreated the project with my Grams who is also my last living grand parent. We looked at her pictures, talked about where she grew up in Mexico, and she'd tell me the stories that shaped her as a person. It not only helped color my understanding of my Grams, but it also helped color my understanding of me. This is just one example of something I've done to start learning more about my people.
Sometimes I'm lucky enough to stumble into links to my culture through a popular band like The Mars Volta, or a TV show like Narcos (3), or in the case of Día de los Muertos through a movie suggestion from my girlfriend. Weirdly, I LOVE animation (4) and have seen most of the Disney and Pixar movies, but I hadn't seen the movie she suggested, Coco. It's actually not that weird at all though when you recall that I mentioned my inherited self-loathing and the reinforcement of those beliefs was fostered throughout my adolescence by the place I called home. That all made me very averse to anything “too Mexican," including even a Pixar movie which I'm essentially guaranteed to love on account of me loving animation and Pixar being the absolute best at that.
After watching the movie, which of course I loved, I was very excited. While I had long since given up on the Catholic Church (5) to eventually arrive at an agnostic/universal oneness approach to God or spirituality, the idea of Día de los Muertos did not really conflict with my new ideology. Regardless of if it did or not, after learning about the holiday (6) I was able to view it for the beautiful tradition that it is. One that comes from MY PEOPLE no less! Having seen Coco/learned about the meaning of Día de los Muertos only THIS YEAR made me very interested to learn more and how it related to my family.
The next chance I got I asked my mom if her side of the family ever celebrated the holiday to which she responded with a very unsatisfying "no" and a "I'm not sure" when I asked if she knew why. Then when I saw my Grams I asked her the same questions (she's my Dad's mother) and she more or less told me "No. Not really," but then elaborated that where she grew up in Mexico (7) it's at a higher elevation and so by November it was already way too cold for any prolonged outdoor celebration. So they made ofrendas and had some small ceremonies but essentially just quickly visited grave sites and then ran back in to the warmth of a fireplace or a stove. Now that was a satisfying "not really like they do in Mexico City."
After learning about this tradition and the virtual nonobservance in my family I became interested in seeing what the observations looked like in my hometown of San Diego, and that's how I found myself in the historic Old Town district on Día de los Muertos proper, November 2nd, which by the way also happens to be my birthday. How about that for a plot twist?! A Mexican-American man (8) born on Día de los Muertos who only learned about the holiday at 36 years old. Ay, DiOs Mío!
So with my camera in tow, and a GoPro fixed to it, I set out to shoot a POV (Point of View) street photography video of the celebration and parade. My interpretation of what was going on was that it was pretty much a normal Old Town scene; plenty of restaurants serving Mexican food; a good amount of live performances of Latin music; a marketplace with with a bunch of trinkets, traditional Mexican items like blankets and ponchos, and also a plethora of dumb bullshit like novelty t-shirts. The biggest differences between this Tuesday and any given Saturday in Old Town was that there were a number of big ofrendas setup throughout the district which takes up a couple of blocks, there was tons of face painting, and there was in fact a parade/ Procesión to the Cemetery performed by Latinx folks in traditional costumes. Additionally, there was a really great mariachi band that followed the Procesión, which was probably my favorite part of the evening.
All in all it was a solid day out and a fun event to shoot for sure. If you haven't been before and you live in San Diego it's worth checking out. One thing it did for me was make me thirsty for my new bucket list item: to see the Día de los Muertos celebrations in Mexico City.
Welp. That's pretty much it. Thanks for reading and if you haven't already, go watch Coco —after you watch my video and subscribe to my YouTube channel of course!
(1) I do try but I learned in high school and college with a 4 year break during my army years and I have never really been conversational.
(2) I have like ≈10% or something like that in my blood.
(3) Maybe not the most positive example...
(4) I studied animation for all 4 years in high school.
(5) I gave up on the institution of Catholocism, not necessarily the teachings of Jesus. An institution that condones covers up evil and rules through fear is one that I could no longer support but as the Doobie Brothers once said, "Jesus is just alright with me."
(6) In a nutshell Dia De Los Muertos a.k.a. The Day of the Dead is a joyous holiday which originated in Mexico. It is typically celebrated on November 1st and 2nd were family's make ofrendas/offerings to their deceased loved ones and share stories and photos to keep their memories/spirits alive.
(7) I think Chihuahua, but I could be fucking that up.
(8) Humour me (9).
(9) The British spelling of words is my favourite.
